Just Jack

Part Two: Chapter Fifteen: Just Outcasts and Misfits

Chapter Fifteen

Just Outcasts and Misfits

     Life is full of defining moments, with defining people to accompany us. Everyday we make decisions and choices that could define the rest of our lives. Of course, there are the small decisions like, what clothes to wear or what food to eat. But then there are the big ones, the life-changers. Will I get through this? Who will I choose to have by my side? Live or die? These are the decisions that make us who we are and that will, one day, make us the person we are destined to be. We can only hope that we make the right choices, the right decisions. We can only hope that we have chosen the right people to have by our side because, if you make the wrong decisions in life, they are ultimately the ones that keep you together.

     I look up from the floor to see ten sets of eyes looking directly at me. They are waiting, watching. The room falls silent as the speakers words echo through the hall. Chris stirs uncomfortably in the chair beside me. Across the room I spot Skylar, I guess she's here with one of her friends. On my other side, Mandy fidgets with her fingers. I cough to clear my throat but still, I can't think of anything to say. This is my third meeting at the Good As You Club, and today is the first day I have been addressed. How do I even react?

     We are all sitting on hard, plastic chairs around a circle in the gym hall of the school. It reminds me of an AA meeting. Patrick Lloyd, the founder of this club and also the man whose son killed himself, sits directly in front of me. He teaches chemistry here and, from what I've heard, he is a good guy. I can see why Mandy is still nervous. She and her gang of goons were the reason Patrick's son took his own life. But that was the old Mandy. The one who wore a cheerleader uniform and always had her blonde hair tied up. I turn to look at her and she sends me a look as if to say, you better answer soon!

     “Jack? No one will judge you,” Patrick says, pushing me for a reply. I can feel my face going red. I too, start playing with my fingers and look around the room as if searching for inspiration – help even. I'm wishing for an earthquake, maybe then the roof would cave in on top of me. Or a heart attack. A heart attack would suffice.

     “He's new here, he doesn't have to speak yet. He's new,” Mandy says, taking the attention away from me. She sends me a quick smile and I sigh with relief. To be honest, I can't answer Patrick's question because I don't know why I am here. Yes, I want help and yes, I know this is probably a good place to find it but what I exactly need help with is unknown to me. I look left to Chris. Its still weird seeing him. You go so long without seeing someone and then suddenly they are back and you can't take your eyes off of them. Maybe I'm afraid he won't be there when I turn back.

     I have to admire him. He didn't have to come to these meetings with me. We didn't exactly leave our last encounter on good terms. But he did and I guess some part of me has to forgive him. I look to his hands where he plays with a jigsaw puzzle piece. The very puzzle piece that started our friendship all those years ago and also the piece I threw in his face that night on the beach. He must have went back to retrieve it from the sand after I left. My heart warms was a brief second. I hate how good he is.

     The meeting doesn't last as long as usual today. The basketball team of our school needs the gym and as the club slowly starts to vacate from the premises, the team begins to pour in. Chris walks beside me with Mandy trailing behind us. These meetings aren't doing her much good. The more she see's Patrick, the more she is reminded of what she has done and you can tell that she is sorry for it. I don't know, maybe she is punishing herself by coming here. Its like a constant reminder that her bullying took a life. Perhaps she wants the punishment.