Just Jack

Part One: Chapter Five: Just Believe Me

Chapter Five

Just Believe Me

     Somewhere in believe, is the word lie. What does it truly mean to believe someone? Some would say it's to have complete and utter faith in some one, to know that a lie would never roll off their tongue. Some would say that belief is accepting what someone has said, giving them the benefit of the doubt, even though they may not understand. Either way, I knew I was doomed if I wanted anyone to believe that I had seen my dead friend. Not that I was lying. To me, I was telling the truth. And it's not like its incredibly impossible for him to be alive, after all they never found his body when he got lost at sea. Yet, I choose to believe it's still out there, floating.

     My time in the white padded room doesn't last long, thankfully. I think they finally came to realize that no matter where they put me, be it in a smelly room with a cranky, old man or in solitary confinement, I was never going to eat. After four days of watching me stare at a tray of fresh food, which ironically looked considerably better than the food they were giving to me in the room with Gabe, they finally let me out. It felt odd, being around people again. I know it was only four days, but how would you feel if you were locked in your own room, no contact, no voices, except of course, the ones in your head. And unfortunately for me, those voices were not good company.

     I stood at the padded room's entrance and watched from there as the hospital and its staff and patients went along with it's daily routine. I must have stood there for a few minutes. For the first time since ever being here, it fascinated me. Maybe all the nurses were not like the foul one they had assigned to me, there was some young ones, undoubtedly beautiful, strolling through the halls with clipboards in their hands. Even the patients that I could see, the young and the elderly, both generations were smiling, almost as if this place, prison almost, was a happy place. Maybe they considered it a place of healing instead of a place of confinement. It was then that I realized how horrid me and Gabe must be. No wonder we were alone in a room.

     He was happy to see me anyways, the first time I saw him smile was when I walked into the room. It was also the first time he had addressed my appearance with brutal honesty. “You look like hell, what were they feeding you?” He had said, I think he was trying to be funny, or else maybe he doesn't know why I am here. Either way, I replied with a laugh and patted him on the shoulder.

“It's good to be back, Gabe.”

     A whole day has passed since then. I manage to eat a slice of toast for breakfast while the cartoons play and Gabe snore's. The sun is shining this morning which is weird for Bridge Bay, especially in the fall. I cannot help but be in a good mood today. I'm eating, the weather is good- everything just seems better. But deep down I know that this sudden happiness, this burst of life, will not last. Something will come along to destroy it like it always does. An out of control car. A strong wave. Happiness never looms long with me.

     I try tackle the bowl of Lucky Charms they have given me. I haven't eaten these since I was a kid. I cannot help but smiling while eating them, remembering the good old days when dad would be around for breakfast. I splash my spoon into the empty bowl and slide the tray away. I done it. A whole tray of food. Feeling rather good about myself, I stand up and slip into a fresh outfit. I venture into skinny jeans for the first time in a few months and a light, white t-shirt. I even look into the mirror in the bathroom to just fix my hair. I don't linger there to see the bags under my eyes, or to see my spots, I just smile at the reflection and walk away.