𝙍𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 ⇨ 𝙅𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙅𝙖𝙚𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙣 𝙁𝙁

𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 : 𝐈𝐜𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦

√ 𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐇𝐖𝐀:

My breathing is shaky. My heart is not pounding out of my chest. No, it's ripping through my skin and pulsating faster than ever before.

"No, I think it's too soon for feelings," I tell him.

I'm unsure about how I feel about him, though. Maybe that's what's making me nervous. Could I possibly like him? It doesn't feel like I do, but it also doesn't feel like I don't.

Jaehyun looks at me dead in the eyes. He makes a very serious face as he tells me, "feelings are spontaneous. You can't decide that."

I sigh. "Well what do you even want me to say?"

Jaehyun looked at me in a perplexed way. It was clear that both of our heads were completely muddled.

He looks away from me. With his eyes pinned on the sky, he starts speaking. "I... I don't know. I guess I just wanted to tell you."

Hearing this from him caused an unexpected feeling: anger. I'm not sure why, but I just don't like this. It's irking me as to why he would just want to let me know.

"Why bother telling me? You seem to not be sure about anything," I say, making it known that I'm bothered.

"What do you mean?" Jaehyun manages to get a small glimpse of me as he asks, before looking at the ground.

"Jaehyun, you said that you think you like me, not that you do. Now you're not even sure what you hoped to gain by letting me know."

My arms are crossed, my eyebrows are raised, and a strong sense of irritation sets upon me. My mind was  stuck on having high expectations for his response. No, I am not hoping for something. I'm just searching for a good reason to believe him.

I was waiting for something good, but all this boy said to me was, "but we kissed. Doesn't that mean something?"

Oh. My heart feels a little tear. I see he tried pulling this card. Even with having said this, I can't seem to get my mind to comprehend that he's being sincere. It's clear that playboy Jaehyun who thinks with his dick and not his head is still in control.

"Jaehyun by that logic, you like every person on this planet and it all means something, right? Because that's what you're telling me."

"It's different with you, Yeonhwa."

I scrunch my eyebrows together. What the fuck does he mean by "it's different." Pretty words might make other people's hearts flutter. Not mine. I don't even understand what the heck he's trying to get at. Different with me? Like if he hasn't done something similar to every girl he's ever wanted.

My eyes pour into his, searching for any indication of his earnestness. It made my heart ache a little more but as I expected, I couldn't find any. His eyes were empty. This instance made me sure of what I wanted to say.

"Well..."

I catch my breath before I continue speaking. This was hard. I've never done anything like this before but I just know that I'd rather not do this again.

"I don't like you, Jaehyun. And I'm sure of it," I say as my feelings for him were solidified in this moment.

I don't like Jaehyun. If I had any small feelings, they're gone now.

My body isn't trembling with nervousness. I'm not disappointed either. It was as if everything had gone back to the way it was before Jaehyun made me question my feelings. It felt normal?

I turn around to get ready to walk away. The bell rings indicating that lunch is over. I take a deep breathe and realize that this didn't affect me. I look back at him just to say, "I'll see you for tutoring later."

I start walking away swiftly, my soul feeling relieved of any unresolved feelings.

My body heads towards my classroom. I catch Johnny walking down the hallway going in the opposite direction.

I intercept his path and shop him in his tracks. "If you say no, you're the absolute worst asshole in this world."

Jaehyun rolls his eyes and says, "what do you want."

"Wanna watch some movies later today? My dad is making your favorite for dinner."

Jaehyun looks at me confused. "Isn't today a tutoring day?"

"Yeah but I'm not gonna be there the whole day. I could cancel too. Although, I'm not sure if that's going to make me the actual ass because I said I would see him for tutoring already."

Jaehyun just smiles and says, "well I'm glad you finally decided you want to spend time with your best friend again."

I roll my eyes, my signature move to literally most responses I get. "You'll be there then?"

"Yes ma'am. If not, I'm okay with being the absolute worst asshole in this world."

We say bye as we both go back to being on our way to our own classrooms.

My feet stroll inside my classroom and I find my seat, sitting down promptly as important thought flood my head.

Movie night is not complete without ice cream. Man, I'm kinda craving chocolate ice cream today.

But Yeonhwa, are you willing to go through the repercussions of ice cream? Just for a taste of chocolate ice cream?

Your body will regret it. I keep repeating to myself. But my mouth won't. An invisible smirk appearing on my face as this thought appears on my head.

I try to think of all the downsides of ice cream. It's messy. Your fingers get sticky. The joy lasts 4 seconds before you're annoyed at the uncomfortable feeling of ice cream on your face. Even when you lick it away, you only spread the stickiness. It's awful.

And I'm lactose intolerant. My toilet, booty hole, and stomach will hate me if I do this. I guess I can skip out on ice cream today.

I notice the chair next to me move and before I know it, Jaehyun is beside me. I look at him but he doesn't look at me.

Ice cream. It's as unpleasant and pleasant as he is.

Once my mind realizes what it's done, I facepalm. You're so dumb, Yeonhwa. How will I enjoy ice cream now? I hate that my mind made a correlation between them.

I look at Jaehyun once more. Fixated on him, I test myself. Maybe I was just being harsh because he didn't know how to word things. But no, whatever I felt definitely had subsided.

Without being aware, I gained a distaste for ice cream too.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅