Shades of Starlight (Hiatus)

Book Two: Chapter Nineteen

"What?! No, no, it has to be here! Why is it not here? Where is it?" I shouted hysterically, snatching the ugly, useless book out of Sophie's hands and flipping through the pages so furiously that several of them ripped. Councillor Terik gently took the journal from me and started reading the entries.

I collapsed on the couch, bawling in front of one of my leaders, a person I respected beyond measure. I truly was a miserable mess of a person, the mascara I'd barely had enough time to do smearing all over my face as I cried. It hurt so much worse than before. I'd actually had hope this time...

"Miss Sencen? Are you all right?" Sandor asked. I shook my head.

There was nothing we could do for Alden now. He was really, really, gone.

"I'm guessing you don't want to tell me what you were hoping to find," Councillor Terik said quietly. He took off his circlet and handed it to Sophie. "The crown's off. For the next few minutes, consider me a citizen. Tell me anything you want."

"It doesn't matter," I choked out. "Nothing matters, because it's not there." Sophie stood, frozen, holding the circlet out in front of her. She started to sway.

"Are you okay, Miss Foster?" Sandor asked, steadying her. I couldn't believe that the same people who saved our lives in Cairo could do this to us. To Alden. How could they take the only clue we had to save him from us?

"Thank you for bringing us here," Sophie said, handing Councillor Terik his circlet and fumbling for her home crystal. I stared at her in disbelief, tears streaming down my face, staining the couch beneath me with tiny spots of black. How could she be so calm? How was she not falling apart?

"Anytime, Sophie. And... don't forget this." He offered Sophie her old journal. Sandor took it for her.

"Cass." Sophie held out her hand

"How do we..." I whispered, not having the words to explain what I wanted to say. Sophie smiled sadly, her eyes gleaming.

"I don't know." And somehow, that was the answer I needed. I sat up, took a deep breath, and took Sophie's hand.

***

"There you are!" Keefe called from outside the pterodactyl enclosure. "Grady's been-Cass? Are you okay?" he asked, noticing the black streaks on my face. My breath caught in my throat. I rushed forward, burying my face in my brother's muddy chest, body rattling with empty sobs.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Keefe asked, putting his arms around me. "Is she hurt?" Sophie shook her head. "What is it?"

"It's just... come inside, I'll tell you there."

"Come on, Cass," Keefe whispered. "It's okay. Let's go." I nodded and walked slowly with him to the house, sniffling and ignoring Grady's concerned gaze. We could explain to him later. I'm sure he was very curious about where we had been.

Once we were inside, Sophie collapsed on the bed, Keefe and I sitting down together next to her. I knew that Sophie would usually have protested Keefe sitting there since he was a bit dirty and smelled like a wet verminion, but she let him today. For me, I was sure.

"So, now that we're... alone... what's in that diary?" He looked pointedly at the sparkly pink monstrosity. "And by the way- that's the kind of awesome human stuff I'd been hoping for. Please, feel free to go get more so I can make fun out of it."

A small smile twitched at the corner of my mouth. Keefe looked delighted. I usually ignored his dumb jokes when I was mad or sad, so he saw it as a win that I reacted to it, even slightly.

"It's what's not in the diary, really," Sophie sighed. She explained how she remembered writing some kind of clue in the margins, but it had been ripped out.

Hearing this out loud, I realized how stupid I was being. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up so high. If I hadn't been so entirely convinced that we would find the answer to curing Alden, I wouldn't feel this empty hole inside of me, the hurt so beyond what I'd felt before. In believing I could save Alden, I'd lost him all over again.

"Ripped out... by who? And don't you have a photographic memory?" Keefe asked. Sophie told him about the mysterious Mr. Forkle and the gaps in her memory. Keefe looked thoroughly, and understandably, freaked out.

"How can you deal with that and still act normal and calm all the time? If it were me, I'd run straight to Elwin yelling 'someone stole my memories, get them back!'"

"Elwin can't help her," I mumbled. "No one can." Sophie dropped the journal on the floor, looking despondent. An only slightly smug smile appeared on my brother's face. What did he have to smile about? We lost. Nothing he could do could help anything.

"That's where you're wrong, little sis. I knew you'd need me. You got a pencil?" I picked one at random from among Sophie's school supplies and handed it to him, refusing to get excited.

Keefe leaned off the bed to grab the journal and straightened back up, tilting the diary at different angles. My eyes widened.

"How did I not think of that? Of course!"

"Think of what?" Sophie asked, confused. I took the pencil from Keefe and started shading in the margin with the side of the point.

"If you pressed hard enough as you wrote, the impression will be on the next page," I explained. "You have no idea how many times Keefe has done this, and it almost always works." Sophie's eyebrows raised slightly but she didn't ask for clarification, thankfully.

I squinted at the page as the faint white words the pencil had traced appeared.

A boy who disappeared.

"Should have figured it had something to do with a boy," Keefe snarked.

"I was five."

"And cute boys didn't exist then? Of course, you hadn't met me yet, but..."

"Shut up, Keefe," I told him. "Sophie, do you remember this happening?"

She gained a faraway look in her eyes, and her brow furrowed slightly. A few seconds passed with Keefe and I staring at her before she leapt to her feet, ran to her desk, grabbed her memory log, and projected a blurry image on a random page.

"What the-is that a bramble jersey?" I asked, peering at the picture over her shoulder.

"A what?"

"It's the game we were playing the night of the aurenflare," Keefe said. "There's a team championship version of it every three years. They print special jerseys, and everyone who's into it buys like ten. That one's from-"

"Eight years ago?" Sophie guessed quietly.

"I think it was. But wait-is this your memory?" I inhaled sharply.

"I think so," Sophie said slowly.

"But eight years ago you were still living with humans," Keefe pointed out. I stayed quiet, ideas rushing through my mind. It was impossible...

"I know. I was living with humans and had no idea elves existed. My telepathy hadn't even manifested yet. But if that's right, I saw a boy in a blue bramble jersey.

"A boy who disappeared."

Author's Note: hiiiii guysssss... please don't kill me for taking literally months to upload another chapter... I'm so so so so so sorry, I just lost all motivation to continue, then I started a community and got busy and went back to school and-ugh, whatever, there's not a real excuse for not doing something that I love. Once I started writing today, I knew I couldn't stop until I had a real chapter. Thank you so much for reading, and I'll try hard to get back into a regular release schedule. 

Love, 

Twi