Innocent: Spencer Reid ✔️

{13} Us

t h i r t e e n . o n e
A v e r l y n
s h a m e f u l

I'm starting to think I'm pretty content sleeping next to Spencer. He doesn't snore, he just makes peaceful sighs, there's always good cuddles, and the warmth radiating off his body is enough to put anyone to sleep. Spencer looks like the type of guy who's a night owl and a morning bird, who can easily go without sleep due to coffee, but as soon as his head hits a pillow he's out of it.

There's light slowly managing to seep through his windows as the sun rises, mixed colours in the sky. I turn onto my other side, looking at Spencer's adorable face. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. I gently push back his hair from his face, my thumb tracing his nose. He scrunches his nose up, letting out a tranquil sigh. He's still out of it as I softly press my lips against his, the faint feeling of his mouth against mine until I pull away and climb out of his bed. He's right, it does hurt the morning after.

All good things come with a price. I said that last night and I knew the atmosphere shifted. Spencer loosened his arms around me the slightest bit, of course he would. He can get reminded of anything with his mind. And I knew he has watched the interrogation tape over and over again. Why did I say that exactly? I gather my clothes, quickly dressing in his bathroom before I sneak out of his bedroom into his living area. I hear his alarm ring from his bedroom and hurry out of the front door, shutting it calmly before I put my hood up and make my way back to my hotel. I feel bad, for sneaking out before Spencer wakes up, but I have to.

I've never been in a situation like this before. After sex, what are you supposed to say? If we aren't a couple it would just make things awkward, we'd regret it if I stayed the morning. We would work awkwardly. Maybe we could just forget about it. I didn't regret what we did, but Spencer might. Why would he sleep with someone like me? Sympathy? Did he feel bad for me?

I keep reminding myself I've never felt like that before. The pleasure, the ecstasy, all mixed with slight pain. Pain I could easily get used to. Except could this really happen again? I felt like I was doing the walk of shame as I walk back to my hotel room, giving the staff shy waves as I unlock my hotel room door. "Well that fucked everything up." I mutter, dumping my bag down on the floor as I head to my bed. I collapse and feel the sting in between my legs again, groaning and wincing. What makes things worse, is my phone ringing nonstop from my bag. I really hope it's Hotch, I can't deal with more shame from Spencer right now.

It's not Hotch, it's Spencer. Do I answer it? Isn't it just the same as waking up next to each other and talking? No, because I left and now I feel bad about it. If I could turn back time right now, I would. I guiltily answer my phone, pressing it to my ear with silence. He doesn't say what I expect him to.

"Hey, we have work so Derek is coming to pick you up in five. Is that alright?" Does he not remember? I wouldn't want to remember if he had walked out on me. Fair is fair.

"Uh, yeah I'll be ready." I say quietly. I'm slightly stunned, maybe Spencer doesn't want to remember. There's an awkward silence between us and the phones. I can tell when he's about to hang up and quickly cut in. "Spencer, wait. Are you okay?" He's silent for a few minutes, only a few quiet sighs.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He says, distress laces his voice.

"Are you su-."

"Why'd you leave? You couldn't stay a minute longer could you?" Theres faint rustling in the background, like he's fishing through trying to find something.