-levi's pov-
I walked in as dinner was getting served, making my way to get a warm cup of tea.
I headed straight to my seat
Next to Erwin and four eyes.
Only difference now was those three damn traitors left.
I stared at all the scouts, we were only down to a few hundred.
I watched as they all sat down in their table.
Connie and Armin sat next to each now.
She was always sitting between them.
They were always causing some trouble
But now they were mute.
"uh oh"
The silence was filled with a bowl crashing on the ground
Immediately shattering during contact.
"s-sorry Captain! I'll c-clean it up right now!" The scout cried out , on his knees as he quickly began to pick up his mess.
A part of me hoped it was that idiot, how she always managed to drop her food no matter what.
How she didn't fear me anymore.
"Is it healing well Erwin?" Four eyes spoke up
I turned to Erwin
He was zoned out.
He hadn't been the same since.
Nobody was...
He was missing an arm, unable to properly function.
This had taken a huge toll on him.
"Erwin."
I spoke
"It should've been me."
My eyes widened
He wasn't mentally stable for a while now
"Why did she let me live"
"why?!"
I was filled with anger.
"She took her life to let you live Erwin" Hange held his shoulder.
He clenched his teeth.
I couldn't handle him anymore
he was right...he should've died.
He should be the one we mourn.
Not her.
~
I walked back to my cold room.
Staring at the envelope
I couldn't bring myself to read it.
"You idiot"
"You stupid brat!"
I yelled to her, wherever she was.
I felt my knees give out , hitting the floor
"Why..."
"Why!"
We were suppose to get married you brat.
You told me you would live.
Why did that change ?
You left your friends in pain, Erwin traumatized.
You left me behind, Arai
Why.
~~
I opened my eyes, the sun rise hitting my window directly.
I must've fallen asleep on the floor.
Every morning I was hit with the memories.
It was the first thing on my mind.
I hated waking up.
I hated living.
I picked myself up
My eyes quickly were set on the envelope.
It was the last I had of her.
She was holding on to it the whole time, waiting to give it to me.
It was time.
I needed to know what was in that letter.
I slowly reached for it, my cold hands hit the cold paper.
Everyone was still asleep, I took this as an opportunity to read it outside.
On the same field we had once shared memories with...
I quietly walked outside.
Making my way towards the grassy field
I stared at the spot we once laid on.
The memories gave me headaches.
I sat down, staring at the spot she once sat next to me.
Part of hoped she would come, come lay next to me, watch as she would admire all the pretty flowers around us.
But it wouldn't happen
Not ever again.
I slowly opened the envelope
It had a note inside.
As I pulled the note out, I prepared myself
I was ready.
