Naruto Littlespace!!!!

Story 1: Papa Kakuzu, Baby Kisame, Little Konan

this is so many words and I cannot even tell you how long it took to write (probably a shameful amount for how the final product turned out but hey! not every story can be a winner.) I hope you guys get something out of this, it features 3/4 of my favorite characters in the entire series :D

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Someone was screaming.

It wasn't a cry of pain, or of surprise, or a plea for mercy like Kakuzu was used to hearing. It wasn't a sound he had heard in a long time.

He forced his eyes open. Of course the first day in a month he gets to sleep in a warm bed with his lovers someone in the next room has a crying baby. Wait, that's. Awfully loud for being in the next room. And where's..?

He blinked. Kisame was gone. He felt the cooling dent in the sheets where Kisame used to occupy and froze when his fingers brushed something soft and round. It shook with the energy it was exerting, as it was the top of a baby's head, and it was currently screaming its little lungs out.

"Oh." He reached for the light on the nightstand and illuminated the baby, with the distinct blue skin he had only seen on his boyfriend. Despite the headrush he sat up and lifted the baby into his arms.

It was just like Kisame to be a big heavy baby. Good thing Kakuzu was a big heavy man with arms to match. He rocked Kisame back and forth, trying to get him to quiet his wailing.

He was a cute thing. Tiny triangle teeth glittered in his gums, yellow-silver eyes shed no tears but looked so much bigger than on an adult's face. He wore a tiny version of Kisame's Akatsuki outfit, overfilled stomach pushing on the front of his tank top. Kakuzu shifted him to one arm and offered his index finger to the infant's gaping mouth. Slowly but surely, Kisame settled down and accepted it. He sucked on the digit and Kakuzu thought a silent prayer that he didn't swallow any of his nail polish.

Konan stirred behind him. "Whtfuck is going on?" she slurred.

"Dear, did you notice Kisame acting strange tonight? Any more distressed than usual?"

"No, not really." She shuffled in, raising herself on her elbow to try and look at what he was holding. "Oh fuck."

"Either he regressed or he replaced himself with his baby duplicate."

"He's tiny," she whispered. One finger reached out and stroked his hair. "Why's your finger in his mouth?"

"Easy way to shut a baby up. Give them something to suck on, a pacifier or a finger. It's comforting."

Konan stared in fascination at the way his eyes fluttered closed. "How did you know that?"

"I had a baby once. A long time ago."

Orange eyes widened. "What?"

"You think I've lived this long and never gotten knocked up?"

"Yes, actually." She squeezed his thigh. "It didn't even occur to me."

"I don't seem like much of a parent, huh?"

Konan reclined, giving him a shining smile. "You do now, actually."

He didn't know whether to take it as a compliment. "You want to hold him?"

"I'll wake him up."

"Lay back, I'll put him on your chest."

"Why?"

"It won't wake him up."

She rolled over in a show of trust, though her face still didn't look convinced.