Lost Royalty ~ Jegulus

Apart

Regulus POV

It took a few weeks but eventually I got a reply.

'Dear Regulus,

I am so sincerely sorry for everything that has happened to you. All of it. But please understand that for me, being attracted to other people is something completely natural, no matter what that person is like.

I'm proud of you for trusting me with this information and don't be alarmed i won't speak about it to anyone, that wouldn't end in a good result for anyone.

I feel like since you've positioned yourself in such a place of weakness, I shouldn't be the only one keeping my vulnerabilities hidden.

My mother was very present in my early years and taught me so much. But when I was 12, as the monarchy rules states, I had to be an apprentice.

I started everything off by following the king of Spain but it didn't last long.

After a week I was asked to go on a hunting trip and I had no choice but to accept. There they made me kill innocent animals and I will never forgive myself. Worst part is there was an old man who went after one of our kills and we had seen him. The king asked me to shoot him down for stealing.

I tried and tried but I couldn't. I dropped the gun and set off on my horse into the forest.

But I wasn't quick enough. One of the generals shot the old man and I saw him fall and his face drain is life and before I knew it, I was on the ground.

A general had shot down one of the royal horses because of my own weakness. Which is why now my father is very harsh with me.

I know this isn't as bad as what you've told me but I hope you accept my weakness.

Take care of yourself, i miss you
                                          ~James Potter'

I read the letter a few times. I couldn't believe someone could do this to James but I couldn't figure out why.

It took me a few days but I worked my head and figured out something I wish I never had to.

I liked James. Like like James. Actually, I fucking loved James Potter.

And I was scared. He could easily know and I would cause his death if anyone found out. No king could be gay, not anyone could.

So I never responded.

It was mid November when he sent a follow-up letter asking if I ever got the first, but I didn't respond.

By the end of December he had sent 3 more. He wanted to know how I was, he wanted to know if I was scared of him now or found him weak. I didn't, I really didn't and I wanted him to know.

But I couldn't respond. This had to end before it went to far.

In January he stopped.

He wrote to Sirius to ask if I was alive and healthy but couldn't do more since our exchanges were completely private.

It wasn't until April that I heard James' name again.

It was a sunny morning and I was heading down to the breakfast room.

When I entered Sirius and Remus were already in there talking so I only bowed before sitting down, not wanting to interrupt them.

"- and so we could go to the wedding then visit your father since it'll soon be a year since you've seen him"

"Sure but don't you think James will want us to stay with him for a party or a travel after?"

"Do you not want to see your father?"

"Well I do but you'd have to calm down on my neck since he'll see and die on the spot. Do you think you could not murder my father?"

"I'll try my best"

They finished that discussion and turned to me. Sirius smiled and I smiled back.

"Hey Reggie. Wanna go to James' wedding with us. I'm sure he won't mind since he's often asking how you're doing in his letters." Sirius asked while I felt my world crumble into pieces and die.

I had felt the tears but couldn't show. So I only nodded trying to look emotionless.

"Good. It's the last week of April so we should leave in the next week or so."

"Okay" I said before getting up and without eating, I left.

Dark clouds now crowded the sky and the sunshine was no longer. I laid back down in bed and cried.

And cried.

And cried.

Till I fell asleep.

During the night I woke up and thought about what I should do.

I could and probably should let James get married but I could never watch. I love him too much.

I could tell him but he might hate me. He probably already does.

I spent the following few days thinking about what to do, coming to no real conclusion.