Deathbeds

I'm Sorry

'That's her.' I thought to myself. I did a quick once-over before walking to the door.

My nerves acted up again as I breathed in deeply, before opening the door and smiling.

She looked even prettier now, than she had at work, If that was possible. Her sea green shirt complemented her tanned skin, and her soft dark brown hair had been straightened.

"So, uh.. Ready to go?" She breathed She looked down nervously and sighed.

"Um.. Yeah, haha. Come in. Do you want some coffee, or?.."

"Oh, I'm good I'll have tea it's too late at night for coffee.." She laughed softly before walking in and taking a seat in the kitchen, which was next to the entryway.

I felt her eyes on me as I made tea, heating up the water and going through different cupboards for the tea bags. I felt her eyes trace my movements. My heartbeat sped up as excitement coursed through my veins. 'You're being stupid.' I thought to myself.

"So, what kind of tea do you want? I have green, raspberry, chai.." I asked pointing to the boxes.

"Green is good. Thank you."

I smiled and whispered, "No problem.."

I dipped the teabag into the darkening water before deciding it was strong enough. I slid the mug to Olivia and smiled.

"Just tell me if it's too weak or strong, if you want honey or.."

"It's fine Amanda, don't worry about it." She said, while sipping it.

After a few moments of silence I decided to change the topic.

"So, Patton got sexual abuse 3? No jail time, community service, gets out on the registry, and can't work in law enforcement anymore huh?.." I frowned. 'For what he did to that detective. He got nothing for what he did to me..' I thought.

"...Yeah Manda, I'm sorry. He should've gotten more.. For what he did to you, that-that should've at least been put in court.."

I started to get flashbacks- My head, hitting the headboard as he forced me down. His drunken breath violating me as he whispered in my ear, "Amanda, you know. I don't take no for an answer.." I shuddered and looked at Olivia. Automatically, a fake smile plastered onto my face.

"Are you okay?" Her concern in her voice clearly showed she saw when I had the flashbacks.

"I just-flashbacks. I'm fine I promise." 'Did she call me Manda? She always uses Rollins...' I thought.

"...I uh-I know what you mean. I still see Lewis in my dreams sometimes. When I see people like Patton, it makes my skin crawl..I'm sorry I triggered you."

"Does it get better? And I'm fine Liv." I sniffed and tried to hold back tears.

"I..Broke up with Cassidy a while back. He couldn't-and I couldn't handle a relationship post Lewis. He.. Haunted me day and night. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat.. He worked nights, I worked days..But I did find that therapy, and time helps."

"Oh..um Thanks, That reminds me. The appointment is at eight and its 7:32, we should get a cab.."