Her Heavy Cross

Chapter Nineteen

We eventually got up. We showered and dressed. I fed Perrin, and we ate breakfast. I asked Liam what his plans were for the day.

"Not much. I thought I would stay with you until you kick me out." He winked. "What are your plans?"

"Well, I have to kick this guy out..." I said with mock agitation. Liam feigned a look of hurt. "Not much until tonight. I'm going to Dave's house for dinner. I'll see my nephews and niece, which will be good. My Mum too, I suppose."

"Dave's your brother, right?" I nodded. "You haven't told me much about your mother. I think this is the first time you've mentioned her."

"We don't always get along. Mum's mellowed as she's gotten older, but she was a bit of a tyrant when I was growing up. She didn't like Andy. Well, she didn't like any of my boyfriends. She always judged them based on their jobs like she wanted me to end up with a doctor or lawyer or something like that. It's like she thought she'd wasted her money sending me to a private school because I found myself attracted to tradies."

"What's a tradie?

"A tradesman."

"Gotcha."

I laughed at a memory. "I used to tell my friends that if a guys hands weren't calloused enough to cause a run in my stockings, then he has no business touching my legs."

Liam burst out laughing. "Are you serious?"

"What can I say? I like a man who is good with his hands." I shrugged before continuing, "anyway, that's one reason why my mum and I didn't get along."

"What about your Dad?"

"He passed away three years ago."

"I'm sorry."

I didn't say anything for a while. I played with the crusts of my toast, breaking it into little crumbs. I think Liam sensed my mood and changed the subject. "You went to a private school?"

"Yeah," I said. "An all-girls, Catholic one at that."

"Well, that explains a lot." Liam quipped, his tone very serious, but his twitchy lip gave him away.

I narrowed my eyes and frowned. "I hate you."

Liam ignored me and cupped my face with his hands. "Kiss me." He ordered. And I did.

We spent most of the morning sitting together and talking. We spoke about the books we were reading. We found that we had similar taste in books when we talked before we met. Liam had recommended a book to me, and I had finished it a few days ago. I showed him my bookshelves, and we compared which ones we had read. He asked to borrow a couple.

Later we just sat on the lounge. We talked, held hands, cuddled, kissed, had coffee, and then some tea. We took turns patting Perrin, who had taken to Liam really well.

It got close to lunchtime, and it seemed like we were both trying to work out a way to avoid the inevitable parting. Neither of us had brought it up since breakfast. Eventually, Liam asked, "when can I see you again?"

Liam was sitting up, and I was laying on my back with my head in his lap. Liam was stroking my hair, sometimes taking a curl and twisting it around his finger. I smiled when I saw him do that since I had done the same to him earlier.

"As soon as possible," I replied. "I'm going to miss your pretty face." I reached up and patted his cheek patronisingly.

He gave me a small smile but didn't say anything. Then his god damned lip twitched.

"What are you thinking?" I asked. "I can tell when your lip twitches that you're thinking something naughty or you know something I don't know."

"My mother tells me the same thing." His lips stretched into a full grin, revealing his Hollywood white teeth.

"Well, I'm not your bloody mother, so tell me."

"I was just thinking about all the parts of you that I'm going to miss."

"You're very cheeky."

"Unfortunately for you, my mother tells me that too."

"You're a fuck knuckle," I said, smirking. "I'll bet your mother doesn't tell you that."

Liam's eyes went wide. "Bloody hell, Sweetheart. Anyone would think you didn't like me." He was smiling though.

"It's because I like you that I insult you. I'm very polite to people I don't like." I said, putting a sickly sweet smile on my face and batted my eyelashes at him.

"You're lucky you're cute." Liam leaned down and kissed me. "You haven't answered my question. When can I see you again?"

"Well, we both work all week. I guess that means we will have to wait until Friday night."

"Do you want to come to my place on Friday after work? Spend the weekend with me?"

"Ok. I'll ask Dave when I see him tonight if he will have Perrin for me. But it shouldn't be an issue."

Liam's face was unreadable for a moment. Then he smiled and kissed my forehead. "I'm already looking forward to it." He sat back and said, "well, I suppose I had better call an Uber."

I sat up and waited for Liam to book his ride. When he had finished, I said, "Call me tomorrow night. After work?"

Liam nodded. He scooped me up and sat me on his lap. "Don't worry, Sweetheart. You won't get rid of me easily." He smiled and caressed my cheek with the back of his fingers. "Now, kiss me."

I threw my hands around his neck and kissed him hard.

Liam kissed me back, his arms wrapped around my waist, and he crushed my body into his. Our kisses became ardent, and I squirmed on his lap. I didn't want to let him go. Not ever.

I wanted him again now, and I cursed myself for letting him call for an Uber. I felt like he was part of my life like I had already given let him into my heart when I let him in this house. This sacred place. Mine and Andy's place. It seemed as though he had just blended into my life and any thoughts of the future now included him.

But I also knew enough to hold back, to remember I didn't really know him. The weekend wasn't real life. It was an illusion. It wasn't the daily grind of work, come home, sleep, do it all again. To make it worse, Liam's life wasn't normal. Would I adjust? Could I adjust? Did I even want to try?

I knew I did want to try, at least. Liam seemed worth it. Worth the risk of another broken heart, another love snatched from my grasp. If I didn't try with Liam, then who would I try with? And if I never tried, then love would be gone from my life forever.

Liam pulled away. "I had better go now, or I think I'll never leave." We got up just as his phone alerted him the driver was less than a minute away. He grabbed his bag, and I walked him to the door, and he followed behind me up the hallway.

We got to the door, and before I could open it, he turned me around and pinned me to it with his whole body. His forehead pushed against mine. He kissed me, forcing his tongue into my mouth. He ground his body against me. "Lana," he breathed. "Lana, I..." He stopped talking, kissed me again softly then pulled away.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want Liam to stop. "I'll call you tonight," I said despite our plans to call tomorrow night. I knew I wouldn't be able to wait until then. I opened the door for him.

As he walked out the door, Liam put his hand on the back of my head. He brought me to his face, and he kissed the top of my head. "As you wish." He winked and pulled the door closed behind him.

Authors note:

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