Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Bus to Reality

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Max was finally able to relax now that they had been on the road for twenty minutes. When he traveled, he didn't like rushing, but that is what had happened this morning. He had planned for a leisurely last morning at the farm. They were scheduled to take the 12:40 bus at the Buriram bus station, which was a good 90-minute drive from the farm. But still, that meant they wouldn't have to leave the farm until 11.

The morning had started out great. He had gotten up early as usual, but this morning he did his special ritual. On his last day at the farm, he always got up early and went for a long walk no matter the weather. Someone watching him would think that he was walking aimlessly but really it was the same route each time; it was the path that Chimon's grandfather had showed him on his first introductory tour of the farm the first year he came to work there. It was his way of saying goodbye and promising to return.

He got back in plenty of time to shower and pack. Tul had just come out of the shower when he arrived, and Max had allowed himself to linger a bit answering Tul's questions as the other man dried his hair. He had then quickly jumped in the shower himself and packed up his things. They'd went to have breakfast with Kuhn Sinjai and Chimon. Chimon was actually scheduled to take the same bus as they were since he was heading back to university.

He sighed with relief for probably the tenth time in the last half hour. If they had missed that bus, the next one wasn't until four and a half hours later and wouldn't get them into Bangkok until 10:30 at night. He wanted to get back in time to have a decent dinner and to rest properly for the next day. Thus, he had urged Somchai, one of the farm's staff members who was driving them all to the station, to drive faster than usual.

Once they had arrived at the bus station with barely minutes to spare, he had made Tul run, pulling him with his left hand while pulling his carryon with the other. Chimon, less burdened, ran ahead calling out to the bus driver who had already closed the luggage compartment and was about to get on the bus to drive away. They just made it.

He promised himself that the next time he visited the farm for a short trip, he'd just bring a backpack like Chimon. He only brought the larger case because of all the ingredients he had been carrying. He sighed thinking that the next time he came, he would probably be without Tul anyway, so he wouldn't be late for the bus.

He glanced at the man sitting next to him, who had already started drifting off to sleep 15 minutes into the bus ride. Tul had attempted to read some of his notes but finally put them away, knowing it was useless. Max usually was the first to sleep on a trip, but his adrenalin was still up from almost missing the bus, so he thought about the weekend instead. He knew he'd never forget it.

It was only a week ago that he had planned for this weekend to be a time where he would work through his feelings for Tul. He originally thought he would use the time away to build up his resolve to separate himself from the Tul and focus on his work and on Uncle Pongpat. However, everything worked contrary to that plan, and he couldn't say he regretted it.

His mind went through everything: from their kiss(es) to Tul's surprising confession to their real honest conversations afterward and their new settled, silent agreement that had actually deepened their relationship rather than weakening it. It all seemed like some kind of miracle.

Max had learned to believe in the curative powers of the farm, and he believed that it was the soothing atmosphere—in addition to its distance from Shilapath and everything Pakorn group—that led to his and Tul's ability to clarify their boundaries to each other. Ironically, this also allowed for a particular level of freedom for them to connect.

Before, when each of them thought they were alone in their feelings, he had felt a level of underlying strain. But now, all of that had been cleared up, the anxiety was gone. Max smiled a bit. He would be lying if he said all the tension was gone, though—the sexual tension was still there. Sometimes, he'd catch Tul looking at him deeply—sometimes with longing, sometimes with longing laced with lust. He knew he was guilty of that temptation, too. However, he was better at hiding his feelings with a neutral expression.

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