Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season One

Chapter 5 The Package Is In the Open

The three Blues looked out at the canyon from the top of their base. Church turned to Caboose. . . .

Church: Let me get this straight. You gave this guy our flag?

Caboose: Is that bad?

Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad! Next time he comes over, why don't you help him blow up the whole goddamn base?

Tucker: There, there he is!

The cyan soldier spotted Donut at the bottom of a cliff!

Church: Where?

The cobalt soldier aimed with his sniper rifle.

Church: Oh, yeah, I got him! He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.

Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.

Unbeknownst to them, Donut was simply lost.

Church: Oh shit. Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.

Tucker: Aw man! That means it's their sergeant.

Church: Well that makes sense. At least we know how he got by our defenses.

Caboose: Uh, you know he came in the back door where you guys were standing.

Tucker: Yeah okay, well let's take him out then.

Church: Roger that.

He zoomed in with his scope and readied himself.

Church: Okay. Say Goodnight, Sarge.

Church unleashed four shots and completely missed each! Donut ducked after hearing them!

Donut: Son of a bitch!

The leader of the Blue team lowered the rifle.

Church: Aw crap.

He turned to see Tucker giving him an amused look.

Church: What?

Tucker: You're really not very good with that thing, are you?

Meanwhile, Donut waved the flag at them!

Donut: Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember?!

Unfortunately, the blues couldn't hear him.

Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.

Church: Alright, That's it! I've had it! Rookie, you stay here! Me and Tucker will head through the teleporter and cut him off at the pass!

Caboose: Right!

Church moved next to the lowing green teleporter.

Church: Tucker, ready? Let's go!

Tucker glanced at it once.

Tucked: There is no way I'm going through that thing.

Church: Tucker, we don't have time for this! Why would they give us a teleporter if it didn't work?

Tucker: I don't know! Why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?

Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?

Tucked: We threw rocks through it!

Church: Yeah, and? So what? The rocks came out the other side didn't they?

Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.

Church: So that's what this is about, then? You're afraid of a little black stuff?

Tucker: Yes! I am! I am afraid of black stuff.

Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you.

He took out an assault rifle and aimed it at the cyan soldier!

Tucker: You wouldn't.

Church: I look at it this way. Either A, we go through there and get the flag back, or, B, we stay here and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.

Tucker: For the record, I want you to know rocks aren't people.

Church: Duly noted. Now get in there.

Tucker: Alright, Crap!

The cyan soldier took a deep breath.

Tucker: One! Two!

He entered the portal before he could say three. However, he did not come out the other side.

Caboose: Huh, he didn't come out the other side.

Church: Yeeaah. . . I've uh. . . I've decided I'm not going to use the teleporter.

The Blue Team's CO jumped off the roof and landed on the ground.

Church: Okay, Rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!

*With the Reds*

Grif was wielding and aiming a sniper rifle with Simmons and Ruby standing beside him.

Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't here any shots.

The orange soldier sighed.

Grif: I'm telling you, it was four shots.

Ruby: Regardless if we heard them or not, we should check it out.

Grif: Yeah.

The orange soldier's eyes widened.

Grif: Wait a second, we got a blue guy on the move out there.

Simmons: Where's he headed?

Grif: Oh crap, It's Donut!

Ruby: What the heck did I tell you two?!

Her rage grew, but Grif realized something. . . .

Grif: He's got something. . . . It looks like. . . . Guys.

He turned to them.

Grif: Get the Warthog.

Simmons: You mean the puma?

Ruby: NOT THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grif/Simmons: Yes ma'am!

And with that, the three dashed for their vehicle!