The Reds, now completely out of ammo, had to resort to other methods to win.
Grif: No way is this bluff gonna work.
Ruby: We wouldn't have to use it if someone brought the extra ammo.
The orange soldier sighed.
Sarge: Doesn't matter, there's positively no way they know we're outta ammo.
Unfortunately for them, Sarge's deduction was incorrect.
Church: Yeah, they're definitely out of ammo. What are your terms?!
Tucker: Their what?
Church's yell echoed towards the reds.
Grif: Our what?
Simmons: I can't believe this is actually working. See if you can get Lopez back Sarge.
Grif: Oh yeah! 'Cause then he can fix the warthog.
Donut: Ooh. Ooh. Sarge, tell them we want the flag.
Grif: Yeah, and some cake.
Donut: Ooh. . . Wait wait, Sarge, just the cake.
Sarge: Alright Blues! First off, we want your flag-
Simmons: Wait, wait, wait just a second. The last time we got the flag the chick in the black armor showed up.
Sarge: -to stay right where it is. Keep the flag.
Ruby's eyes moved to the right of her visor.
Allison: I'm gonna shoot him.
A projection of a small, black armored soldier was on the right side of her visor. She talked directly into Ruby's helmet, making the other unable to hear her. The magenta soldier gave a soft giggle.
Sarge: But we do want our mechanized droid guy back!
Church: Uh oh.
Sarge: You may know him as Señor El Roboto!
The Blues looked at the cobalt soldier.
Tucker: Well Church, what's it gonna be?
Church: Chingado! No way, I'm not giving my body back! I just got this thing.
Sarge: And don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!
Church: Uh-Uh, he's not here anymore!
Tucker: Yeah, he left! He was all like "Sayonara!" and then he just took off.
Ruby: That's Japanese!
Church: Shut up Tucker. Hey Reds! How about a medic? Would you take a medic as a hostage?
Doc: A hostage? But I'm supposed to go over there.
Simmons turned to his team.
Simmons: That sounds pretty good to me.
Ruby: My leg's fine now though.
Grif: Yeah, I think we can hold out for more.
Simmons: We don't have any bullets, dumbass.
Grif: Oh right, take the medic. The medic's a good deal.
The blues shifted their attention to the medic and Caboose.
Church: Hey Doc, how's the patient?
Doc: Doing well, he seems very alert and responsive.
Tucker: He's talking about Caboose, right?
Church: No, I mean his toe. How's the toe I shot?
Doc: What, that thing? That fell off like half an hour ago.
Caboose: Rest In Peace, pinkie toe!
His voice suddenly deepened!
Caboose: You shall be avenged!
Doc: *sighs* Tell you what, go ahead and send me over. I really don't think I can be anymore help.
Church: Okay, we're gonna send over our medic! Now what do we get?!
Simmons: You? You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
Tucker: We've already got that! What else do you have?! Oh, send over the girl!
A shock round flew through the air and hit the cyan soldier in the crotch!
Tucker: FUCK!
Ruby: Pervert.
Sarge: What do you want?! Besides Ruby!
Tucker was about to talk.
Church: Tucker, stop. How about you admit that the Red team sucks?!
The five Reds huddled up and whispered to each other.
Sarge: What if we admit that one of us sucks?!
Grif: Nice! Wait, you mean Donut right?
Ruby: Get a move on Grif, this is karma for not bringing the ammo.
*Two Hours Later*
Church: Okay then! We agree to the terms? You first, then we send over our medic!
Sarge: Get on with it Grif.
Grif: *groans* I would just like to let everybody know, that I suck!
Church: And?
Grif: And that I'm a little girl!
Church: What else?
Grif: And I like ribbons in my hair and I want to kiss all the boys. . . .
Sarge: This may be the greatest surrender of all time.
Simmons: Okay, is that good enough?
Church: Yeah! Alright, go ahead Doc.
DuFresne then walked up the reds.
Grif: Man, I really hope you're worth this.
Doc: Can I ask you a question? Do they put something in the water here?
Grif: Water? We ran out of water six months ago.
Doc: No water? Then what do you drink?
Grif: Uh, ketchup. . . soy sauce. . . gravy, the usual.
Sarge then walked up to Doc.
Sarge: I only drink the blood of my enemies, and occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo.
Ruby: I have a stash of apple juice.
Donut/Grif/Sarge/Simmons: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
YOU ARE READING
Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Two
FanfictionRed Vs Blue, but with a twist! Three months went by since the death of Tex, leaving the Blues confused, Church with a robot body, the Reds missing Lopez, a god awful medic, a rogue A.I., and Ruby having to deal with it all! The OC Ruby belongs to...
