Red Vs Blue, & there's Magenta: Season Two

Chapter 10 Radar Love

The Red looked at their destroyed jeep. Ruby and Sarge were doing their best to fix it.

Grif: Is it just me, or does this jeep seem like really bad luck?

Simmons: Yeah, now that you mention it, it does seem like every time we get in the damn thing, it breaks, or explodes, or goes crazy and tries to kill one of us.

Donut: Maybe we should try exchanging it for a few motorcycles. No wait, wait! A big tank like the Blues have! That thing never seems to have any problems at all!

Ruby: It exploded twice!

*With The Blues*

Ghost Church stood before Lopez.

Church: Alright, that's the deal Mister Robot. You fix our tank, we'll let you go free.

Caboose: *whispers* I thought the plan was to trick him into fixing the tank and then Church will take over his body again when he is done.

Tucker: Yeah, but you don't tell the person you're tricking what's going on Caboose.

Caboose: So, if I'm the one being tricked, then you would not tell me what is really going on?!

Tucker: Why would we trick you?

Caboose: Oh, I think you know.

Lopez: (Spanish) Where will I go? Even my friends have tried to kill me.

Church: Okay, I'm gonna take that as a yes and let you get busy with the tank fixing.

Lopez: (Spanish) I have no home.

*With the Reds*

Ruby: Get off that!

Grif was standing in the Warthog while the Reds surrounded it. The orange soldier was using the sniper to spy on the blues.

Grif: Oh crap! Hey, uh, they got a guy fixing the tank.

Ruby: Get off the jeep so I can fix the dumb thing and try to even the playing field!

Sarge: That's impossible Grif! Our intelligence states-

Donut: We have intelligence?

Sarge: -that the only soldiers in this canyon with mechanical training are the dead freelancer and Lopez.

Ruby: Oh. . . *whispers* I see how it is.

Simmons: You technically aren't a soldier.

Ruby glared at him.

Sarge: Oh, wait a minute!

Simmons: Sarge, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Lopez runs away, the jeep starts driving itself, and suddenly there's a new guy on the Blue Team?

Sarge: Yes, Simmons, I am. Quite obviously, the Blue Team has constructed some kind of diabolical mind control ray beam that they used on Lopez and now he has to do their evil Blue bidding!

Ruby: Oh my god.

Grif: Or, since he's a robot, maybe they just reprogrammed him.

Donut: Or maybe, that Blue guy who got himself killed by their tank came back as a ghost and now he's possessing Lopez's body. That could also explain why Sarge went nuts when he had the prisoner. The Blue ghost probably possessed him too! And the jeep going nuts was probably just a weird set of coincidences while the guy learned how to use Lopez's body.

Allison/Ruby: A.I. Program, but close enough.

The magenta girl began to whistle awkwardly. She stopped once she realized the others Reds were staring blankly at them.

Simmons: I think I like the ray beam idea better.

Grif: Yeah, your idea sounds stupid rookie.

Ruby: Oh, you've got to be kidding me!

Her A.I. popped up on her visor.

Allison: They really are idiots.

Ruby: Yeah, I know. . . Speaking of, you told me, so how did you know the blue guy was an A.I.?

Allison: He can do the same stuff I can.

Ruby: Makes sense.

Allison suddenly glitched in Ruby's visor.

Ruby: Hey, what's going on?

Allison: I think I might possess your robot's body.

Ruby: Wait what?!

(A/N- I'll be using Allison for when she's being Ruby's A.I. And Tex for when she has a body.)

*With The Blues*

They surrounded the tank while Lopez repaired it.

Caboose: Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry! Fix the tank! So that I can say hello to Sheila. *deep voice* And start killing everyone!

Tucker: You mean all the Reds right?

Caboose: Of course! *deep voice* For starters.

Church: Come on, how much longer Lopez?

Lopez: Completo.

Sheila: Thank you for activating M8O8V Main Battle Tank.

Caboose: Sheila! You're fixed! You're fixed!

Sheila: Hello, Private Caboose. It is good to see you again. Thank you for repairing me.

Tucker: He didn't fix you, our robot did it.

Caboose: *deep voice* Don't cockblock me!

Tucker: Dude, come on.

Sheila: Robot? I wasn't aware that our squad was outfitted with a robot.

Lopez's visor met Sheila's cannon.

Caboose: I don't like where this is going.

Sheila: Hello there, my name is Sheila, the M8O8V Main Battle Tank.

Lopez: (Spanish) And I am Lopez the Heavy.

Sheila: Lopez. What a nice name for such a nice soldier. You have such excellent motor skills.

Caboose: Umm, yes! Well, Lopez has to go now. He was just here to help me fix you. And now he has to go AWAY.

Tucker: Dude, this is getting weird. Church, will you take your fucking body back?

Church: Roger that.

Lopez: No! HEAUEGERKERGERK!

Tucker: You okay in there Church? Church! Hey, what's going on? Do I need to flip your switch?

Ghost Church suddenly appeared!

Church: What the?! That wasn't me! What the hell's going on here?

?: Well. . . .

A familiar feminine voice came from the robot.

Tex: Buenos dias, cockbites. Guess who's back?