Everlasting ღ Newt TMR¹

20. As Indispensable as Possible

I would like to dedicate this chapter to Lady_of_Erudite, for all their comments, votes and everything in between!

WE HIT OVER 9K READS!!!

I want to thank all those who have continued to read and vote for my story, you made this possible, you're awesome.
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Minho and Thomas are not back yet. I returned to working with the Med-Jacks, and helping anywhere I can.

I feel so awful for how I treated the boys before they left. They're my friends, and they're allowed to look out for me.

Hopefully they'll be back soon, so I can apologize for being such a shuckface. Hopefully they make it back alive, or I'm going to feel even worse.

"Lori, you okay?" I hear someone say in the background. I shake me head, clearing my mind of the morbid thoughts.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine" I say, pulling on a brave face to cover up my fear.

If I can convince others, hopefully I can convince myself, I think to myself.

I realize it was Jeff who was talking to me, as he grins before replying "Sorry, you just seem a bit out of it today."

"Well thank you for your concern. I'm just tired, that's all. I've been having trouble sleeping lately."

I'm pretty sure rarely sleeping, and when you do, never dreaming, could be classed as trouble. Maybe. I don't know, I'm not a real doctor.

"You should try having a warm drink before bed; calm yourself down a bit more than usual."

I thank him, before cleaning up around the Med-Jack station.

The job can be difficult sometimes, watching people in pain, but the outcome is always brings an amazing feeling of warmth inside of me.

The air is thick within the room, forcing it's way in and out of my lungs.

Why did they send me here? Why can't I remember anything? These two questions pound inside my mind like a jack-hammer. But then an overall question surfaces, one which if answered, could solve all my questions.

What is that point of us being here?

I continue to work on the outside, as the questions eat away my insides. Clint and Jeff wont know; if they did, I'd hope by now someone would have told me.

I need to talk to Newt. I need to see Minho and Thomas again. I need to apologize. I need to ask Thomas about what I heard.

I need to do a lot of things, but I don't want to be that person who makes others build their lives around me. I need to help more in the Glade. I want to be a part of this family, because this may be the closest I get to one.

The trick to becoming a part of a group, and staying there, is becoming as indispensable as possible. I need to prove to everyone here, and myself, that I can actually help them, and not just cause catastrophes all the time.

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I had skipped lunch today, preferring to finish my work in the Med-Jack centre instead. When I said I wanted to stay behind, Clint and Jeff looked so shocked; usually I jumped at the opportunity for food.

I still remember the time Xander came at me with that knife. Hell, how could I forget.

Well, those people could erase it from your mind. Then you'd forget.

I scoff at myself, as I continue to make the bed which had been vacated a few minutes ago. I pull the rough sheet up towards the head of the bed, before folding it a little bit at the top, and tucking it in on each side. I then grabbed the pillow off of the chair and placed it at the head with the folded end of the blanket.