A Different Kind Of Love [18+]

Chapter Thirty-Four

I pulled my car up to the curb and killed the engine. I could see Sean, Drew, and the girls running around the park playing. A smile tugged at my lips. As if he could sense me, Sean turned around and we locked eyes. He said something to Drew, who looked over at me, and then he jogged over to the car. Sean opened the passenger door and climbed in.

"We could have dropped the girls off at your place."

"I know. I just kind of like seeing you all together."

We both fell silent for a moment, not sure what to say.

"You're confident in your relationship with Drew."

"Is that a question?"

"I don't know what the question is," I sighed.

"Yes. I am confident in my relationship," he answered.

"Must be nice."

"What's going on Jade?"

"I have been sure of three things in my life. Meg, my career, and my daughters. Meg has always been there. Even when I tried to push her away when we were younger. Her friendship never waivered. I've always known what I wanted to do with my life and there was never a doubt in my mind that I would succeed. So, I had Meg and my career. Then the twins came along."

"Did you ever think of not having them?"

"Not for a second," I answered without hesitation. "From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I was going to have my baby , or babies as it turned out, and I was going to be the best mother I could be."

I turned to look at him and found him staring at me.

"I knew without a doubt that someone was always going to need a lawyer, so I would always have a job. Meg wasn't going anywhere. She had already proved that and at least until they are eighteen years old, my daughters would always be there. Then you and Drew came along."

"We could always be there."

"That's what scares me. From the moment I was able to take control of my life, I've planned everything. Nothing goes against plan. Except for those girls. I wouldn't change a single thing that brought me them, but you two? I can't plan that and I can't trust that. I can't trust that one day one or both of you will get tired and want to go back to what was normal and safe for you. Do you know what scares me the most? That I might even lose my daughters too."

"You would never lose them."

"Maybe not now. But someday... a nasty breakup. They might have to choose. What if they don't choose me?"

I tore my eyes away from him before the tears I felt welling up spilled over. I took a deep breath to keep them at bay.

"Hey, look at me."

I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was feeling embarrassed. Sean took my chin in his hand and turned my face so that I was looking at him.

"Our daughters would never be forced to choose between you and us. I wouldn't let that happen. Ever. As for Drew and I? I can't promise that feelings won't change. I can't promise that my feelings for Drew won't change, but where does playing it safe get us?" Drew leaned back and looked out the window. I followed his gaze. Julianna and Joanna chased Drew around. He faked a fall and they toppled on top of him. Their smiles were contagious. "If you had played it safe that night, we wouldn't have them."

"Low blow using the girls to try and convince me," I joked.

Sean turned back to me. "I'm not trying to convince you. I'll respect your wishes. But I do wish you would try."

I looked from him back to Drew and the girls. Drew was swinging Julianna around. Joanna was spinning herself in a circle.

"Okay."

"What was that?"

"I said, okay. I'll try."

Sean grabbed my face and I only had a second to prepare myself before his lips pressed to mine. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him to me, deepening the kiss. Sean pulled back before things could go too far.

"There will be time for that later," he said. "Come on."

He opened his door and stepped out. I took a deep breath before climbing out and rounding the car to take his hand. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I was going to try to be in a serious relationship with Drew and Sean. This was so against the plan. A year into my law career I was supposed to meet a man, preferably another lawyer, fall in love, marry and then have kids. Starting my career already having the kids threw those plans off track.

I had meant to start dating, but the timing never seemed right. I didn't think anyone would want me and my daughters. The idea of getting into a relationship, only to have it fall apart down the line, didn't appeal to me. So, I put off dating.

Until Drew and Sean came back into my life. I shook my head and laughed to myself as we crossed the park over to Drew and the girls. I had forced myself to go on dates I didn't really want, all because I was worried about my growing feelings for the fathers of my daughters.

The dynamic made no sense. It still doesn't. How can three people have a healthy, successful relationship? There were no guarantees with two people. How did the two of them think we could make it work with three? It terrifies me. The unknown.

As we got closer, Drew stood up and stared at us. His eyes fell to my hand in Sean's.

"Are we good?" he asked, his brows arched.

I looked at Sean, who watched me expectantly, our girls, and then back to Drew. I don't think my fears will ever go away, but I knew that I wanted this. I wanted both Drew and Sean and if I couldn't have them together, then I didn't want them at all.

"Yeah. We're good."

"Yeah," he asked. Drew held his arm out and I moved over, letting him envelop me in a hug.

"Yeah."

Drew bent down and kissed me softly on the lips.

"I am never letting you go girl," he said in my ear.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Or at least until they're eighteen," Sean said from beside me.

"Jerk," I laughed and pushed him away.

"Did you just push me?"

"What if I did?" I challenged.

"Girls, I think mommy deserves to be tickled."

They jumped up and down agreeing with him.

"Oh no," I said and tried to back away but Drew's arms came around me. "Hey."

"Fair is fair and our daughters want you to get tickled," Drew said,

"That's not fair! It's four against one."

My protests went unheard as Sean tackled me and Drew to the ground, Drew's body cushioning my fall. Drew held my arms and Sean's hands tickled my sides. Julianna and Joanna came over to help him tickle me and the five of us rolled on the ground of the park laughing uncontrollably.