Breathe | k. kurta & c. lucilfer x reader

22. THANKS

Since childhood, your father brought you to peculiar places for training, leaving you puzzled as to why your siblings were kept in the dark about these activities. You questioned why you received special training when your older brother, Illumi, was the firstborn and seemingly the natural choice to succeed your father. Yet, Silva and Zeno singled you out, even before Killua was born, as the ideal heir. Despite being a girl, they saw potential in you to lead the Zoldyck family. However, with Killua's birth, attention shifted to him due to his inheritance of the family's distinctive white hair and his evident talent. Although you also demonstrated considerable potential, they ultimately favored Killua, perhaps influenced by traditional gender roles. They were unaware of your Nen-type since you never disclosed it to them.

When you demonstrated your ability, seemingly confirming their assumption that you were a conjurer, as you crafted a bow and arrow with your aura. However, their assumption was wrong. The arrow you created had a unique effect—it paralyzed its target for three days upon impact. Contrary to their beliefs, your Aniki, Illumi, couldn't withstand the pressure and expectations placed upon him, unlike Killua. Illumi succumbed to the pressure, rendering him unsuitable as heir to the Zoldyck family. So Silva and Zeno sought more than a puppet heir incapable of independent thought. While Milluki possessed intelligence, he lacked the physical strength and other qualities that set you apart. His resentment toward you stemmed from this disparity, fueling his attempts to outshine you and claim all praise for himself. One of his preferred pastimes included tricking and provoking you, often leading to your outbursts.

Silva and Zeno's choices were between you and Killua, but they opted to focus on grooming Killua as the next heir instead of you. This decision stemmed from your return to the estate after your participation in Heaven's Arena, where you displayed a noticeable change in personality."Do you want to see your friends?" Your father inquired of Killua, who sat beside him, appearing hesitant and anxious. You, on the other hand, remained composed, kneeling with your hands resting on your lap. Beside you lay Mike, peacefully asleep inside your parents' chambers.

"You don't need to hold back. Tell me the truth."

Lying wouldn't be of any use in this situation.

"Thinking back," Silva halted, catching Killua's eye as he lifted his head. "we've never had a father-son conversation before. I was groomed by my parents to be an assassin. And I raised you in the same manner." He paused briefly, shifting his gaze towards you before refocusing on Killua. "You and I are distinct. I only realized that after you left home."Silva's words felt directed at you, and he gently placed his hand atop Killua's head."You are my son, but you are also your own person."

Internally, you scoffed at his final five words. 'You are your own person?'

Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined he would speak in such a manner. He had always been the stern father, unwavering in his high expectations of you. Unconsciously, you clenched your fist, a sign of your frustration that Killua noticed. His ocean-blue eyes locked onto yours. It felt like there was a connection between you two, a bridge of understanding.

He knew you were struggling, knew you were afraid, and recognized the facade you put up. Killua and you shared the same feelings—the resentment towards the family, the longing for freedom.

"Live your life as you wish," Silva added, ruffling Killua's hair. "If you get tired, you can come home. I'll ask you one last time. Do you want to see your friends?"

Killua glanced at you once more, silently seeking your agreement even though he was the one being addressed. You took a deep breath, offering him a small smile and nodding in affirmation. Killua then turned his attention back to your father and nodded, signaling his understanding.

"I understand," he replied.

Silva was keenly aware of your close bond with your younger siblings, knew that they held you in high regard and likely respected you more than they did him.

"But..." Silva paused, biting his thumb—a familiar gesture to you, indicating the formation of a pact. As you listened intently, his next words caught you off guard. "Promise me one thing. Never betray your friends. Do you understand?"

Discomfort began to settle in. Silva seemed to possess an uncanny knowledge of everything, and his words carried a weight of inevitability. You feared that Killua might indeed betray his friends, and the prospect unsettled you deeply.

Killua nodded in agreement, emulating the action Silva had just performed with his thumb.

"I promise. I'll never betray them," Killua affirmed solemnly, sealing the pact with their mingled blood. "Never."

With that, Killua exited the room, but not before casting a fleeting glance in your direction, silently mouthing a word of gratitude.

"Y/n," your father called out.

"Father," you responded, the ensuing silence hanging heavily in the air. Despite the discomfort, you maintained your composure, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"Your wedding will take place a month after you turn 18. You are dismissed," Silva declared.

"Okay," was your simple response. As you rose from the floor, about to leave, a sudden realization struck you. "Father, there's something I'd like to ask," you began, hands delicately placed on your stomach.

He made a sound of acknowledgement, awaiting your inquiry.

"You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?" you questioned. Silva stood before you, towering over your smaller frame, and he gently ruffled your hair, to which you responded with an expressionless face.

"I just knew you would return eventually. Family is all we have, Y/n," Silva responded, turning away from you and heading out of the room.

You scoffed quietly, anticipating his response."Yes, because I couldn't bear to leave my younger siblings behind, especially after what happened to Kil—"

"But you left them once before," your mother, Kikyo, interjected suddenly, appearing seemingly out of nowhere with Kalluto standing behind her. His blue eyes observed you from behind her, and you greeted him with a warm smile, which he returned with a slight one. "But you're back now, and that's what matters most, isn't it, darling?"

"Yes, that's more than important," Silva affirmed.

After gathering everything he needed, Killua made his way to see you. He hesitated, unsure of how to act towards you now that he knew you were the one who helped him escape his punishment. Because of you, he was free from the obligation of carrying out assassination jobs. He felt a mix of happiness but with lingering resentment towards you. He couldn't shake off the memory of what happened six years ago—the betrayal that shattered his trust in you when you left them after promising to always stay by his side.

As you were heading back to your chamber to prepare for your next mission, you heard Killua calling out your name. Turning around to face him, you noticed a familiar look in his eyes, reminiscent of the one he gave you during the Hunter Exam.

"What is it?" you prompted, encouraging him to speak.

Avoiding your gaze, he shifted uncomfortably before finally saying, "Thanks."

With that, he left you alone, a small smile playing on your lips as you processed his unexpected gratitude.