hopelessly devoted || tommyinnit

↠ twelve

disclaimer/tw: mention of and eating disorder and bodyshaming

"sofia?" tubbo's small voice comes from outside my door. i smile and tell him to come in.

"yes tubbo?" i ask.

"dinner's ready," he tells me and leaves.

i waver a little, that dono still in my head.

*flashback*

"god you're so fat. it's embarrassing to be seen around you," he scoffs.

"i've already lost 10 kilograms," i tell him meekly.

"lose more or i'll break up with you," he growls.

"okay," i sob slightly.

"i love you." he held my hand as i cried.

*end of flashback*

maybe he was right back then. if i lose more then i would be prettier?

i go downstairs, not wanting to worry anyone.

"what do you want to eat?" wilbur asks.

"i'll have a bit of pasta, i guess," i say, grabbing the plate and only putting two spoonfuls in.

i see him watching me but he doesn't say anything.

i go to the living room where everyone else is, wilbur following me close behind.

i sit on the other side of the room of tommy, slightly trying to avoid him.

cara walks in after me, being the last person we waited for.

i expected her to go sit in the spare space next to alex but she came and sat next to me.

"whatever you do, don't check twitter," she warned me.

"they clipped that awful dono from tommy's stream," she explains.

i almost drop my plate. just about catching it.

"do they know about?..." she questions, her voice barely a whisper.

i shake my head.

"do you want to go somewhere else? we can talk about it?" she offers, putting an arm around me.

everyone else was still doing their own thing and not paying us any attention.

***

"sof," she sighed.

"james was right."

"no the fuck he was not!" she exclaims.

"that's off-topic. what are you going to do about this? i don't want you to get hurt again, you're clearly upset about it," she states.

"deny it. it's the easiest way," i say, my voice cracking slightly as the tears well up.

"oh, sof," she wraps her arms around me.