Save Me From Myself | Gay BxB |

8. Sleepover

-Theo-

I had managed to get into my room, and on my bed after crying my eyes out. I had no idea what time it was, but I didn't even care. I was just staring at my scars – Beau's name – on my left arm. The wounds were almost healed, and I thought about finding my razor blade and redoing the letters so I could never forget him. Like that was even possible.

But I didn't want to hear Deon laugh at me. I was sure he would if he found out I had cut Beau's name on my skin, so I decided to do it later – I wasn't sure how much more cruelty I could take that day.

I forgot all about Deon when I remembered Beau, and his sweet voice when he told me he missed me. I couldn't understand why Beau wanted to apologize now, after four months. And why couldn't I forgive him? I really wanted to, but I couldn't say it out loud. All I wanted was to be with him, but I couldn't forgive him.

My thoughts were interrupted by my own cough. I was almost surprised because my sides didn't hurt much, not even when I was coughing my lungs out. I didn't feel so feverish anymore, and physically I felt a little bit better. I guess it was because I hadn't been pushed or shoved around, and no one had even tried to hit me during the past couple of days.

And it was all thanks to Deon.

I sighed heavily and rolled to my side to stare out the window.

"Deon..." I muttered in irritation.

Deon was a jerk and mean to me. He hated me, and I was pretty sure he was trying to get me in trouble at school. The only difference between him and my bullies was that he was mean to everyone else too, so I hoped that him being a dick to me wasn't anything personal. I didn't want to hang out with him, but he was the only person who didn't want to hurt me, and wasn't disgusted of me.

And Beau... He didn't even want to be seen with me. He could've just waited for me at school, but he decided to lurk near my home and hope I'd walk past him...

Maybe that was why I couldn't forgive Beau so easily. Deon hated my guts, but he helped me. Beau was my best friend once, but he had never done anything to stop my bullies from hurting me.

I sighed again. I still had strong feelings for Beau – obviously, since I freaked out so badly – and I was sure that if he really meant what he said, I could eventually forgive him. After all, he did say he had no idea I'd get hurt. Maybe he had done things differently if he knew I'd get bullied.

I was starting to feel a little cheerier, and it was extremely weird. It had been a long time since I felt anything better than numbness. Sadly, that cheery feeling didn't last for too long. I picked up my phone and looked at the screen, and my stomach twisted unpleasantly when I saw what time it was.

It was almost eight already. Allen wasn't home yet, but the TV in the living room was on, so my dad was most likely home. He was probably drinking again. I hoped he would pass out soon and that Allen would stay the night with his friends, because getting Deon up into my room would be a real challenge if they didn't.