Viscious

Liar.

It has been days since the teller was murdered. I have been quiet most times, not certain what to say to Kellan and certainly in no mood to comfort my captor about his sadness at eventually having to kill me. Kellan has alternated between talkative, soft, and brooding. One minute he has nothing but praise and foot rubs, the next I'm getting lashes or struck for no reason. He especially becomes angry if I refuse to tell him I love him, or that I don't remember saying it. I don't though, and I don't remember it either, but I no longer argue. He could tell me the sky was purple and I'd go in depth to describe the shades to him just to avoid the whip.

He enjoys whipping me. If I am too 'good' he will purposely set me off or frighten me so he has an excuse to get his hands on me. After he does this he will pamper me. Lotions, praise, extra food, longer showers, late night drives around town and dessert. I don't understand how he wants me to act anymore, so I have completely withdraw and just comply. Whatever he wants I just do. I don't want to hurt anymore.

I've developed quite a taste for bed sharing, and even Kellan's presence. I am uneasy and panicky without him near. As for bed sharing, I feel more human outside of that cage. I can stretch better and I sleep so soundly. Between the comfort of the mattress, the warmth of Kellan and the soothing tea I am out minutes after I finish the last sip. Bedtime is my favorite part of each day now. Every morning I awake to him holding me, this morning is no different.

"I haven't dreamed in days now." I finally speak. "So hopefully I didn't sleep talk or do anything weird again."

"You never have." He rubs hisceyes and stretches. His voice and thick and raspy from sleep. He sounds and looks like a bear.

"I thought you said I-"

"Cross examining me already? Christ woman..."

"I-"

He jumps up before I can finish, pulling on clothes and heading out of the room. This confuses me, because after getting my bottom lashed for no reason last night, he had promised me I could ride to town with him this morning.

"You said I could go..."

"I changed my mind." I sag back against the mattress and I turn away from him. I'm not going to get my restroom break, or breakfast, my clothes or even the blanket back. I can already tell, and I'm not going to beg him for necessities that even Creature was given here. I've little to no dignity left, but I'm over having to beg and plead. I can survive being naked with a full bladder. I chose my battles wisely.

"No protesting?" He studies me, I can feel his eyes without even seeing him.

"Nope. You owe me no explanation. Not even when you hurt me without reason. So I'm content to endure your lies until I die. Which is fine because you said you'll feel bad having to kill me, unless that's a lie too."

"That wasn't a lie." He turns and leaves.

I sigh and struggle to get comfortable, grabbing at the sheet with my toes but unable to fully cover myself. It's no use, I can't get comfortable without him here. I can't even change the TV off this insufferable ad channel that he probably put it on just to be petty. I stop not long after, surrenders to whatever position I'm stuck in. My sore behind and the tightness of the healing wounds on my stomach making my fretting too uncomfortable to continue.

I wonder where he's going that he wouldn't take me? I start to suffocate at the thought. What if he's replacing me? Or abandoning me? He could just move, ride off into the sunset and leave me here to die! Who would find me? Dallas probably thinks we pranked him. He's likely moved on by now and just needed me to sign something. Not even my own kidnapper wants me. I'm not even sure what I done.