He left me

I can't do this

"That fucking bastard, how dare he do that and that bitch." she said fury was clear in her voice. Lissa never used the f word or swear unless she was beyond furious. She hugged me for another hour and said nice calm things to me but from the bond I could feel she was still pissed before I told her I had to leave, of course, it was not easy but I told her I needed to be alone for some time. She still didn't want to let me go but agreed.

I went to my room, I didn't know what to do, I just wanted to be alone. I still wasn't able to figure why would he leave me, was it something I did? Or was I really not enough for him that he needed to go to that scar-faced bitch? I looked at myself in the full-length mirror I had in my room, my eyes were red because of crying but my face was nice, I looked at my body, I was still wearing my tights because of the practice and I realized I had a nice body too, I had no idea why I was thinking about my body. I was never self-conscious, oh Dimitri what have you done to me.

*Flashback ends*

I was sitting on my bed, thinking about everything, my life, my friends, Dimitri, my career. I felt so bad I just wanted to die. But I knew that was never going to be an option. So I decided to do something no one should ever do in their life, I decided not to feel anything, to shut my emotions off and just focus on one thing, my career, being a guardian. That's what we are supposed to do right? Dimitri was training me so that I can be a good guardian, but now I'm gonna be the best guardian in this whole world and I'm gonna do that without him. I don't need him. I wrote letters to Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Adrian, and Alberta. And that day I cried myself to sleep hoping for the last time.