Take A Break And Love Me [InoTan] -chatfic

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tom:
where are you?

enemy #2:
with Inosuke

why

tom:
,,,,

didn't you want me to help you clean up your house?

enemy #2:
,,,

tom:
you forgot

enemy #2:
I forgot

______________________

"What are you doing?" Inosuke appears next to Tanjiro, without making any noise

"HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST" Tanjiro's phone flies over his head, almost hitting Inosuke. Tanjiro took a second or two to calm his heart down.

Inosuke looks down on Tanjiros phone and reads the messages "Clean up your house?"

"You have no sense of privacy, do you" he sits up and pick up his phone "Yeah. My house is full of empty bottles and cigars, so it's kind of disgusting"

Inosuke sits down criss-cross-apple-souce-style on the floor "You sunk lower than me in a week than I did in all my lifetime"

"Really?"

"No, I've done worse"

____________________

pikachu:
bro why tf is your door locked?

boar:
so that pizza guy won't come in

pikachu:
open the door or I'll ask someone to break it down

boar:
oke oke wait a sec

______________________

"Hide or Zenitsu will kill you" he stands up as fast as he could and looks around where Tanjiro can hide "Under the bed, closet, or you jump out of the window"

Tanjiro was a little confused, but decided not to ask. At this point he learned that anything that happens and every action of Inosuke, is something weird, and you'd spare yourself some brain cells if you don't ask.

"I'm not going back in the closet"

It took Inosuke a couple of seconds, then he rolls his eyes, takes Tanjior by has hand and pushes him in the closet "Don't make any noise"

"Wait Inosu-" and the closet door was shut "ke" he could hear Insouke open the dorm door and hears someone walk in.

"You're acting weird the last few days" Zenitsu looks around "Sushi?"

Insouke just stands still, staring between Zenitsu and the Sushi on the table.

"Since when do you have money for Sushi?"

"First of all, rude. Second of all, I saw someone leave in unsupervised in a restaurant yesterday and just took it with me while they talked to someone else" that was dumb, he knew, but what action of his wasn't.

___________________

Idiot:
How long do I need to stay here?

inobaka:
who knows

idk what else he wants from me

Idiot:
isn't he your friend

inobaka:
well yes but I'm not fucking akinator

Idiot:
what's akinator?

______________________

The door opens once again and both Zenitsu and Insouke turn around, Nezuko.

"What does Mexico want here?"

Tanjiro listened closely. Why is his sister also here?

"Zenitsu said he'll come over"

Inosuke looks at the couple "So? Are you like glued together or?"

"I wanted to apologize for Tanjiro" she sighs "I really don't know what happened to him. He usually doesnt act like this, but right now he's a real life idiot"

Insouke glances at the closet and then back at Mexi- Nezuko "Thank you"

"Both your brother and Insouke are acting weird" Zenitsu crosses his arms

"No it's you" Insouke says "You didn't bring me my assignments"

Nezuko takes a step back "Yeah you're right, Zen. Insouke never asks for assignments"

_________________________

inobaka:
whys your sis talking shit abt me

idiot:
well she didn't talk good stuff about me either

_________________________

"Who are you texting the whole time?" Zenitsu walks up to him

Inosuke shuts his phone and throws it on his bed as fast as he could, but also trying to remain unsuspicious "The police, because of hate speech" he rolls his eyes "So, what are y'all doing here? I'm still badly injured, I need rest"

"You seem fine to me" Zenitsu responds

"Ehhh?" Insouke points at his arm "You see these bandages, badly injured" as he finishes talking another person walks into his dorm, Sabito "Holy fucks, is this a anonymous alcoholics meeting or what" he groans

"Might as well be" Sabito smiles "Giyuu wanted me to check if Ta-"

Inosuke runs up to him and shuts his mouth with his hand, and whispers to him "One word and we all are dead"

"Zenitsu is not capable of murder"

"Remember how the two security guards got missing and then we're found beat up? That was the wanna be pikachu"

Sabito and Inosuke exchange a few glances with each other -talking through staring if you will- and then Insouke let's go of Sabito.

"Zenitsu, Kanzaki was looking for you" he says so that the couple  would leave. It surprisingly worked and Zenitsu and Nezuko were soon on their way out.

"Okay what is going on Insouke?" Sabito closes the door and looks around.

"Didn't want them to find out about my cocaine business"

"Nice try. Where are you hiding Tanjiro?"

"There where we both once were"

Sabito walks to the closet and opens it "Good morning sunshine" he says as Tanjior falls to the ground "So will you two explain?"

Inosuke and Tanjiro explained their situation while Sabito was eating their leftovers.

"This is good and all, but you two need to check the news more often. Your names is trending, Tanjiro" he shows them an article "They're speculating about your girlfriend from college" he glances at Insouke

"Boyfriend or girlfriend, I'm perfect either way" Insouke says

"You're truly a dumbass"

"I have the highest scores in mathematics. You better shut up"

Tanjiro looks surprised at him. Not that he thought Insouke is the biggest dumbass on earth, but it went in that direction.

"What? You thought I was failing everything?"

"In my defense, that's what you have been telling me"

"Really?"

Sabito sighs "Y'all need help"

_____________________________

tom:
you have an interview tomorrow

you have seen the news right?

enemy #2:
yeah