Love's Lessons

I Want To Fly In Love

I can remember the first time I heard that phrase. I was twelve and my mom was giving me the bird and the bees talk. The first thing that came out of her mouth was when two people fall in love they you know what. And unlike most pre-teens, my questions weren't about the sex. My questions were about falling. I asked her how did falling in love feel. She said that falling in love was like jumping off a cliff and falling peacefully because you know that the other person is at the bottom to catch you. And that was what I believed with every bit of my soul. You couldn't tell differently. But like all moms she gave me the good version of falling in love. She didn't tell me that sometimes the person won't be there and I would fall flat on my damn face.

And that's what kept happening time after time again. I would jump off Love's cliff thinking that I was falling peacefully into the arms of someone who loves me. And every time I found myself eating dirt. And everytime my heart broke a little more. My feelings got hurt little worse. My emotion got little more unstable and my mind got more and more clouded with fear of jumping again. The only part that was good about the fall was the part in between the cliff and the ground because for a moment it felt like I could fly. I wish I could stay in that space forever and never come down. So to answer your question, no I don't want to fall in love. The next time I jump off love's cliff I want to fly in love. Because that's what love should feel like. It should feel like I can fly.