"What if...."Frigga Stayed

Some wounds run deeper than the skin...

Come on!!

You want me to be good. I'm good and I get punished for it. I can't wait much longer to escape, I'll lose my gods-damn mind! But I have to wait or else it won't work. Shit.

All of these thoughts ran through Loki's head as he sat on his bed, thoroughly beaten in the quite literal sense. He had received five lashes for his interruption and because of his actions, he was now confined to his room for a week, as well as bound to "prevent any further incursions." The only good thing to come out of this was that he would get to skip those horrid family meals for a bit.

A knock on the door snapped Loki out of his thoughts. He looked up to see Eir, the head healer. "May I come in?"

He sighed through his nose and reluctantly nodded. She came in with a few supplies and bandages and put them down on the table beside the bed. He pulled the robe he was wearing over his head and let it rest around the cuffs, wincing as he did so, so she could start treating his wounds.

They sat in tense silence, the only sound coming from Eir's dress brushing against itself as she put salve on the lashes and bandaged them. He flinched when she touched the longest and deepest gash and bit his lip behind the muzzle.

She finally finished wrapping the wounds and gathered up her supplies. "Your mother said that she would come see you after the evening meal."

Loki nodded in thanks and she left without another word. He got up, careful not to aggravate the wounds and went to the washroom. He grabbed an old blunt razor from the small bin beside the basin and cut the robe from his body.

It was soiled anyways, but it still hurt him a bit, as if he was cutting away a part of his old self. He tried not to dwell on it as he turned on the spout that gave water to the small pool in the room. He was grateful that the bandages were waterproof as he washed himself, a brownish red staining the water as he did. After getting out and feeling clean for what seemed like the first time in months, he wrapped himself in a soft towel and went to his bed. He grabbed a comb from the drawer nearest to him and sat down.

He brought it to his head only to realize that it was practically impossible with the bandages and the cuffs to be able to reach his hair comfortably. He sighed and put the comb down on the table with a bit more force than necessary.

He tried to take a deep breath through his mouth only to choke on his own inability to breathe through there and spent the next five minutes coughing violently.

By the time a guard brought in the tray of food that was his dinner, he was desperate to get the damn thing off, so he didn't even care when the guard pushed him into the chair next to his desk and took it off. He gasped for air the second it was released. After being able to breathe normally and soothe his sore throat a bit with some water, a wave of embarrassment washed over him for looking as desperate as he was in front of the guard.

He looked down to his food and his cheeks burned as he ate his meal in silence. Every time the chains clinked as he moved his hands, he felt like he was going to be more and more sick. His eyes were now burning as well as his cheeks and he stopped eating all together after a few minutes of this. He couldn't eat another bite. The guard noticed.

"Is there something wrong with the food?"

"No."

"Then eat it."

Loki reluctantly complied, but regretted it as soon as the food touched his tongue. He raced over to the barrel he used for trash in the corner and released the contents of his stomach into it. He retched and dry heaved for a good five minutes into the barrel. His entire face was burning by the end of it. Cheeks from embarrassment, his throat from the bile, and his eyes from the tears, now also joining the fray.

Apparently the guard thought that was a good enough reason to not eat, as when Loki stopped he handed him the glass of water, which he downed furiously, and then had the decency to leave the muzzle on the bedside table for the next shift to put on. He helped Loki into an unsoiled robe, unchaining one of his hands to put it on and then rechaining them after.

The guard left and Loki was now alone in the room. He washed his face in the basin and threw the soiled robe on top of the putrid mix, hoping it would mask the smell. Just to be certain he moved the bin as close to the window as possible.

He hoped mother would come soon...