𝗰𝗵𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂

perfect

☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽ ☀︎︎ ☽

after the blue that the party was, peter and i still hung out. we end er spoke about what happened then, both knowing that it couldn't end in any good way. because of this we've been hanging in the edge and it sucks.
until today.
this morning i had this sudden gut wrenching feeling that i needed to talk about it before something terrible happened. peter should be on his way over now, so i decided to open up instagram and check what shit people have been posting. i don't tend to go on social media often, i'm more of a book person.

i don't follow any of the idiots like flash and his gang because that's insulting my feed. it's worth a little more than that.
needs haven't posted anything. a few celebrities here and there but nothing interesting. that is, until i find jessy's page. she followed me a few days ago and i decided not to be petty and follow her back. only because, as a member of the decathlon i must be somewhat polite to her. somewhat. most, if not all of her pictures are of her in bikinis. she has a perfect hourglass body.

before i can check any further i hear a tap at my window. can't he use the door?
"can't you ever use the door like a normal person?"
"not a normal person."
he flashes me a grin as he rips of his mask so i roll my eyes.
"what're we talkin about?"
"us."
he sits down next to me in the bed and the mood changes completely.
"are you- i- are we-
"we're not breaking up."
he sighs in relief which is a good sign.
"is it about what happened heat the party?"
"y-yea."
all of a sudden i think i need to re-open that window.

"i didn't kiss her, if that's what it's about."
"i know you didn't."
"oh?"
"i just feel as if we've been on the edge lately, afraid somethings going to happen. i'm not going crazy you can feel it too right?"
"yea. yea i get what you mean mj, but i think, maybe, i dunno you- i-
"spit it out."
"maybe we're just shaken up by it. jealous. jealous maybe."
"i'm not jealous."
"see this is why i didn't wanna say it."
"well."
"mj, being jealous- if you are! i'm not saying you are!"

he stars flailing his arms as if that'll get his point across better. which it won't but it's nice to see him flustered. he goes on to explain how jealous he was with brad. which is a fair point, but this is nothing like brad. brad didn't give me fear, he was just annoying.
we stayed in silence for a while but i still refuse to believe i'm jealous.
i stood up at this point, towering over him. i saw his eyes begin to shine, and become glossy. i knew this wasn't going to end well, but it was for the best.

"she's beautiful, peter. she's beautiful just like you."
"if she's beautiful your gorgeous."
"trying to find big words in that small head."
"possibly."
he glances my way and grins.
"look, we both don't want this relationship to end. like- at all- so let's just put it behind us."
"let go."
"exactly."
he sighs and puts his hands up in grabbing motions, so i come and sit in his lap leaning my head, in his shoulder.
"i still love you."
he says, leaning down to kiss my hair. there's a lightness to it, like he's trying to clarify it's true.

"love you too. more."
he gasps.
"not possible."
he says, continuing to squeeze me.
"don't kill me with your affection."
i laugh leaning away from him.
we continue to laugh at each other until all the awkward feelings from before no longer linger in the air. they're

always there, in my head and probably in his too, but i'm glad to admit we got to the bottom of this. we sit in a comfortable silence for awhile, his suit making my skin crawl slightly.
"i'm glad we had this conversation."
"same."
"but."
"but?"
but's are never good.
"how do i know if she's flirting with me?"
"oh- i- i don't know... just don't say anything flirty to her."
"i don't think i know how to anyway."
"so true."

his gaze suddenly drops to my lips, and i roll me eyes.
"your so annoying."
he smiles and leans in to capture my mouth on his. it's short nothing special it there's something so sincere there when he cups my cheek, dragging the moment out for longer.
when we break apart, his face is the same colour as his suit and to be fair, mine probably is too. 

"whatcha wanna do?"
"i don't know- what i do know is that you can't be wearing this all day."
it's a saturday so i'm glad we have the day to ourselves, as my mom had to leave for some business thing.
i passed him some of his cloths that i had washed from the last time he was here.
"i though i lot my hoodies?! you have them?!"
"nooo."
i say, sheepishly, as i close the drawer.
he laughs me,
"you can keep em, but i want the pink one. it's my fav."
"yea that's  why your not getting it back."
peter runs my shoulder before going into my bathroom to get changed. the amount of times i've seen him just in his boxers is impossible to count and yet here he is all shy.

once he comes back we find a netflix drama, we can make fun of as we hug each other close. he played with my hair and i play with his free hand. there's not a second that goes by that i wish not to be like this. i feel loved in his company.
i feel safe, secure.
happy.
something no ones provided me in a excruciatingly long time.

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