All A Joke (Eren X Reader) {Modern AU}

\74/

Y/N POV

"Ok... I'll tell you." Eren said.

I was getting nervous. 

We've never spoken of high school. 

I never heard of the aftermath. 

I'm ready to hear it, but at the same time... I'm scared to hear it all. 

Hear his side of it all. 

"I remember when I kissed you at the party. I don't know why I did honestly. I had been around another girl all night, but something about you made me want to follow you into that room. I was drunk and wasn't thinking straight. Thinking back on it now, it was a horrible thing to do. All the times I kissed you forcefully wasn't ok. And I'm sorry about that." He said while looking down and away from me.

"The next day, I had told Mikasa that I kissed you. I don't know what came over her, but she decided to say that I should get close to you and date you, then humiliate you in front of the school. That you deserved to be unhappy. And at that point I agreed with her. I don't know why I thought it was a great idea but I liked it and decided I was going to go along with it. I was getting bored with life, I wanted something new to do. And this was it. At one point she said that I should just end up sleeping with you and ditching you. That felt wrong to do, I couldn't bring myself to do that." 

I was feeling a type of way.

Why did he hate me so much?

"That night that I stood you up, I had no intentions of showing up, but Armin caught me and got really mad and forced me to go and apologize. Saying that I made you wait long enough. I only felt guilty that I got caught, not because I actually stood you up. And for that I am sorry too. You didn't deserve that treatment. I just needed to spice things up in my life. I was getting bored. I didn't have any intentions of talking to you after that night, but then both Armin and Historia got on my case about it." 

That still doesn't explain why he hated me so much. 

I started thinking back about how excited I was to go to that place... Amy's place was the name right? 

I can't even go to it. During my college years, the first time we came to visit my dad, Hanji was looking for places to eat at and that place was once of the options and I declined and we decided on another place. 

She wanted to surprise us with a place and I refused to go in and pretty much caused a small scene. 

Great times.

"For a while, I felt like I was just apologizing to you whenever we spoke. and that one time that you smacked me, that was called for. I shouldn't of had kissed you or touched your thigh. I was just so dumb. As time went on, I forced myself to hang out with you. For a while I didn't enjoy it, but then I started easing into it. I was having fun, I felt like I was able to let loose. And you were showing me a side I didn't know about you. I was liking that side of you. I found myself getting frustrated at the thought of being happy with you. I didn't want to accept  that you were beginning to become important to me and that you were making me soft for you. I... I fell hard and I was just frustrated with myself."

So he did like me. 

But why did it have to be in such a cruel way. 

Why did it have to be under those circumstances for him to find something to like about me? 

"When we went to the fair, I had such a great time. It was a little fake, but I did end up enjoying my time being there with you. I got frustrated then too, but I had fun. I understand why Jean and your mom hated me. They knew nothing good would come out of our relationship. But I wanted you to see they were wrong, even if they were right. You know the audio that Mikasa played at the winter ball?"