Dangerous Territory

What Does He See

Eren called Levi back down, and with wine and four sandwiches, they had plenty to eat as they talked idly. Eren told him about challenges he faced in Napola as a child, including a mock battle where one of his classmates was killed, and Levi told him about some of his "jobs" as a spy. Once they were done, Eren pushed the cart out into the hallway, locked the door, and they relaxed together in bed.

Levi stared up at the ceiling, feeling the soft pillow under his head and Eren's warmth radiating beside him. Eren's fingers occasionally touched him, just soft caresses to his arm, or reaching up to touch his hair, like he needed to feel Levi's body to convince himself he really was there. As for Levi, those touches kept him in the moment, as opposed to sinking into dark memories. It was almost like, every time a painful memory came up, Eren was right there to ease him out of the past.

"This feels weird," Levi muttered.

Eren's fingers had been caressing his arm, and they pulled away suddenly. "Weird?"

"Not you," he said. "I like that."

Eren smiled and kept softly feeling along Levi's wrist and forearm.

"I mean, resting. Just sitting in bed, nothing to do, and ... actually relaxing. I got that week off after ... after that time." Eren suddenly grabbed his wrist, as if to keep him in the present and not slip off into the past. Levi patted Eren's hand to assure him he was okay. "But that wasn't really relaxing. The bed was awful, it stank of Moses, I hurt everywhere the whole time, and it was nightmare after nightmare. It was torture more than anything. Being able to work and not think about it might have been more merciful."

Eren's gaze lowered. "I'm sorry, that was my idea."

"No, I needed to recover, but ... I just mean, it wasn't relaxing to sit in bed back then." He rested his head against Eren's shoulder and closed his eyes. "This is better."

Eren sighed softly and kissed Levi's forehead. It really was a rare opportunity, to see Levi at rest, all defenses dropped. No scowl, no grimace, no deathly coldness in his eyes. His lips were not exactly in a smile, but the lack of a frown was just as good as a smile to Eren.

Then, to shatter that almost-smile, a pinch tightened between his eyebrows. Levi muttered with wistful sadness, "I wish it could last."

Eren glanced aside, also wanting that. Yet the reality was that this city would be a war zone any day now. Armin predicted two weeks, but the tides of war could change rapidly. They had to get Levi out of there before the bombs began to fall.

And when that started, there was no guarantee that Eren would make it out of the battle alive.

These few moments of peace might be their last.

Determination filled Eren's eyes, and he sat up in bed. Levi frowned in displeasure at having Eren's shoulder taken away, but he saw the seriousness in his gaze.

"Armin asked something," Eren began, "and it made me realize, I've never been clear on certain things. I've never said it directly, and I need to while I still can." He took both of Levi's hands, gripped them tightly, and looked right into his eyes. "Levi ... I love you."

Levi looked confused for a moment, then stunned as he realized Eren really just said that, then he looked like he wanted to laugh it off, yet as he saw the seriousness in Eren's eyes, that feeling changed to fear. Levi sat up in a rush as a tiny gasp escaped and his heart pounded heavily in his chest.

"You ... love?"

He wanted Eren to laugh and say it was a joke, but instead he had a diffident smile, so hopeful but nervous, with eyes that were warm, gentle, and far too innocent. Levi began to shake his head. A deep tremor started from his chest and spread out to his limbs. He suddenly yanked his hands free and rose to his feet. He felt like he was choking as he backed away, like he had seen a landmine and feared triggering it.