Dangerous Territory

Soulmate

Morning dawned across Metz with the clouds clearing and the sun finally shining upon the rain-soaked streets. Eren was already awake, propped up on his elbow, gazing adoringly at Levi as he slept. Once again, Levi did not jolt awake as soon as Eren stirred, nor had he tossed and turned with nightmares. Those pills let him sleep solidly through the night, which gave Eren this moment to bask in simply gazing at him, memorizing every detail, every chapped wrinkle of his lips and the tiny folds of his eyelids. He wished he was an artist, and he could draw this angelic vision, capturing it for all time.

He recalled the first time Levi had shared a bed with him, when he was sick with pneumonia and Levi stayed to nurse him back to health. Out of modesty, he had insisted on sleeping with his head down by Eren's feet, but that meant his foot smashed up against Eren's face. In playfulness, Eren had licked his foot. He smiled at the memory now. He had already begun to like Levi, and some of his actions were shockingly brazen. That playful lick had Levi questioning his sexuality.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but sometimes the way you act, the things you say, the way you look at me, it's like you desire me."

"Is that so? I should watch myself."

"You really should! Nazis do not tolerate people like that."

"I would know that better than anyone."

"You like women, don't you?"

"What sort of question is that? Of course I do."

He had been so defensive, scared that someone might figure out the truth. Still, for that one week, they got to sit together all day, talk about mundane things, and really got to know one another. If he had been innocently smitten by Levi's good looks before, that week of getting nursed back to health truly solidified Eren's feelings.

And that terrified him enough to actively avoid getting close to Levi for two months.

It felt like such wasted time now.

Then the first night they slept together normally, waking up in the Reeves' house in Belgium. Eren thought it must be a dream, so he had kissed Levi. It turned out to be reality, and Levi had teased him relentlessly, making him talk about his dreams. He had said he dreamed of them in bed and kissing a lot. That had been only half the truth. His dreams were much naughtier than that.

Last night came close to those sensual dreams: Levi suddenly pouncing on top of him, their bodies grinding together, months of bottled passion finally unleashed. If he had not stopped things...

Part of him regretted not allowing Levi to do whatever he desired. When would he get a chance like that again? Part of him felt good about himself. Levi definitely was not ready for more than that, and he might wake up regretting it all.

Still, Eren wished they could have at least one night to fulfill every fantasy he ever dreamed. Just one night when he could pleasure Levi fully and completely. There was still so much he wished he could do, so many places he wished he could touch and kiss.

He knew if he kept thinking like that, he would get erect, so he rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. After a quick cleanup, he looked in the mirror. He tried to smile. He wanted Levi to see him looking happy. It was a mask he put up for his platoon all the time, but it was harder to keep up that charade with Levi.

He never wanted to show how terrified he was about this war and his chances of making it out alive. Not just that he might get shot or blown to bloody pieces with a bomb, but merely surviving as a homosexual man in Nazi Germany. His fear that someone might figure out the truth was as potent as ever.