Moonlight Kisses

selfish desires

beau.

She won't get out of my head.

The thought of her just keeps passing back and forth through my mind infinitely. The innocent way her cheeks flushed every time she read a text. The sly tightening of her lips when she looked from her phone to Sophie to make sure she couldn't see a thing. The timid manner in which she flickered her eyes away from mine, only allowing herself to indulge in a few fleeting moments of eye contact.

I knew I had it bad when I wanted to give her a gift for Christmas. A small pink heart pendant. With a map of the streets of Melbourne engraved right on it.

My full intention was to just ignore her presence altogether on this trip and lead her to believe the gift was from Sophie or my mum. But that changed when I saw her plump lips part in shock when she'd realized I'd be here as well. From then on, I knew I simply couldn't just fool myself into thinking she wasn't there. I knew this trip was going to be hell, but not in the way that it has turned out to be. I thought it was going to be hell trying to go about my days with her distant yet very much prominent presence. Never once did it cross my mind that restraining myself from being around her, talking to her, feeling her, would turn out to be the personal purgatory that haunted me from the moment I grabbed her wrist in the car. Mistakenly thinking that wouldn't affect me whatsoever until I felt her skin light up between my fingers. An electricity between us that I couldn't explain.

That plagued my mind for the entirety of the hours that went by where I was deprived of that current. She was the one thing I couldn't have. I could buy myself just about anything in the world at the snap of a finger. But Jo wasn't a thing to be bought. Not with money or lavish or charm. She could be feet or miles away and I still couldn't have her. Fact of the matter is, I was used to getting everything I wanted out of life. And the knowledge that I couldn't apply that to her made her all the more enticing.

So when I saw her walk out of her room in the sweater/skirt ensemble, I knew I was done for. From there I knew I would crave her. Not just her physical form but the light she could bring into a room without even trying. Her smile. Her laugh. The way her hands moved when she spoke. Everything down to the mere curiosity of how someone could be so happy pulled me right back to her. I went from wanting nothing to do with her to wanting everything. And like everything else in life, I just had to have it.

Her denial of her feelings was the most amusing thing. Granted, I do it too, but her denial meets the eye far more evidently. Gauging her came as second nature to me for some odd reason. So when I asked her if she was jealous of Serenity, I wasn't expecting her to refer to callousness to mask the jealousy lingering just beneath the surface. I've read her well enough to know when she feels as if she's being backed into a corner, she'll turn around and try to deflect to get the heat off of her. She was doing exactly that right up until she admitted outwardly to both me and herself that I make her feel some way. Then it was as if she saw no more point in denying us of what was bound to happen sooner or later. She didn't have the energy to and I already heard what she truly meant to say.

Jo allowed her body to fall vulnerable to me. The only thing I didn't see coming. She's not at all shy about what she wants when she's passionate about it, so I figured she'd be the same way when it came to sex.

But clearly, I was wrong.

All the control fell into my lap the second she relented and let herself go. Not only did Jo let my hand ease around her throat, but she enjoyed it too. I figured to coax her along from there. Push her into her room and up against the wall, an action we've both come to know all too well. Graze my fingers up against the length of her inner thighs. Listen to the soft whimpers and moans that spilled from her perfectly shaped lips.