Moonlight Kisses

epilogue III

Two years after...

jordyn.

Being a mother is hard. Some days I wonder what external force thought it best to absolutely slaughter my sanity with not one, not two, but three children. All under three, I cannot believe I've done this to myself.

I love my babies dearly. Regardless of how quickly and unexpectedly things played out with my second and third, I would not have changed a single thing about it. As stressful and draining as those two may be with their endless wars against one another and tendency to put anything and everything they find in their mouths, I love them with everything I have and I would do anything to make sure no one ever hurts them.

The only baby in our plans, Arabella, is just as much a handful. From the few days after her birth, we'd known she was going to be a tough one. She has an attitude just like her father's, and the constant need to be right from me. All this from a two year old. God, she is a character.

After all the difficulties we've had with our children over these last two years, I found a new appreciation for my mom. It wasn't endearing, it was more so wondering how the fuck she did this with me and Kat so close in age. She was still working at that. Had I understood what being a mother was like, I might have never talked back to her once.

Earlier this week, we traveled to L.A. to visit our parents for the summer, as we've always done. We didn't do so last year because I was so close to giving birth to the twins. This year, we flew here through a private airline so we wouldn't have to worry about any of our children wailing and disrupting other passengers. It was much better than flying first class even, no one is confined to their seat, therefore Beau, Sophie, and I aren't stuck holding the restless kids the entire time.

Plus, there were beds, which made sleeping and putting the kids down for their naps a thousand times easier.

Like us, they're experiencing terrible jet lag. I hold Arabella close to me while her head lays on my shoulder. I don't want to disturb her sleep, so in the meantime I really fucking hope neither of the twins start crying.

While I put on a playlist with soft instrumental music to calm the both of us, I let my eyes shut. If I can get just one uninterrupted half hour of sleep, I will be so fu—

The breeze of the door swinging open behind me instantly makes that hope disappear. Arabella begins to stir. Goddammit.

"Hi my loves," Beau's voice rings softly behind me. He kisses the top of my head and Arabella's. If I weren't so exhausted, I would have smiled at the sweet gesture. His greetings are always so loving, they always have been. Every day he'd walk through the front door of our apartment, he'd greet me with a kiss and an "I love you." To be able to see him do this for our kids as well makes my heart swell.

Arabella groans softly, her chubby little arms slowly unwrap themselves from my neck. When she looks up at her dad, I can just imagine her blue eyes lighting up like they always do when he gets home. The little twinkle in her gaze is both so soft and so heart-wrenching as one never really expects such a tiny human to hold that much adoration in them.

Turns out, these innocent, unscathed souls know nothing but love. It's up to us to shield them from a world that can break it and so far I'd say we've done a pretty good job as parents.

"Daddy!" she smiles, reaching up to Beau with grabby hands. From the moment she was born, we'd known she'd be a total daddy's girl. She was Beau's from the start, no doubt about it. When she cries, she responds to his voice to calm herself down. When she started drinking from a bottle, she'd only take her first bottle from Beau's hand. And when she began to take her first steps, she would always crawl to whichever room Beau was in and would practice walking towards him.