Violet Adrenaline [Watty Awards 2013]

Chapter 8: Cuts and Stitches

My flash flushed with embarassment when Declan left. I had kissed him for comfort, I needed help after my dad called me a bitch. I was his one and only daughter but yet he referred to me as "bitch". But I had realised something, Carl was my father not my dad, you had to respect your daughter to earn the title of dad.

But even though I had learned something about my dad, I had really screwed up with Declan. Our kiss was so passionate and sweet but it had definitely led him on, I had to push him away after I realised what I was doing and as soon as I did I saw the pure hurt flash through his eyes. I didn't mean to hurt him, I needed some comfort after the total train wreck of a situation with my father.

I sat on the edge of the porcelin bathtub in the bathroom. I'd been sitting their for half an hour now, tears ran down my face and images of all the terrible things I'd done to Declan raced through my mind. Leading him on, kissing him in the pool, kissing him this afternoon and worst of all, telling him I couldn't be with him not just once but twice and both times I had confused him after by kissing him. 

I knew I was emotionally unstable, that's why when I got in to the bathroom I had immediately ran to the bottom drawer under the bathroom sink and pulled out my razor. I had gone all out this time, creating huge wounds not just on my wrists but all the way up my arms and down my legs to around mid-thigh. I drew the razor across my wrists for the what seemed to be hundredth time, but really I had lost count. But this time instead of watching the blood drip from my wrists and in to the bathtub my vision grew hazy and I fell over backwards, hitting my head against the tap faucet before my body grew numb and I blacked out just after realising that I had killed my butterfly. I had killed Violet.

I woke up on a hard, uncomfortable bed. My eyes searched the room in confusion. Navy blue curtains were used as walls and a white, plastic chair sat empty in the corner of the "room." My eyes grew wide and I sat up in bed quickly realising where I was. A hospital.

I was now fully awake and alert. Now I noticed more like how I was wearing nothing but panties and a bra which was covered by a spotted white hospital gown, a bottle of water sat on a table next to my bed, it had been put there recently because it still had condensation dripping down the plastic bottle. I realised my wrists and thighs were covered in blood soaked bandages. Also I now noticed that I felt an intense amount of pain in my neck. 

I had finally done it this time, I had cut myself so much that I blacked out and I was now in a hospital, all alone with nobody to comfort me. But I did this too myself, I couldn't expect anyone to be here for me. Though I did wonder how I got here without my mother seeing as she was the only one that could have found me.

A doctor came in to analyze me once they saw that I was awake. They told me that I had lost a lot of blood and explained that I had appeared to have punctuared the back of my neck when I had fallen in to the tub, most likely by the faucet. I had been given six stitches that would have to be in for two weeks to heal properly. I asked the doctor where my mother was but he said he hadn't seen her. That small sentence made me want to cry, they doctor hadn't seen my mother. That meant she hadn't come with me to the hospital, she probably didn't even know I was here. After the doctor left I cried myself to sleep.

I was shaken awake by a blurry, smiling Declan. I rubbed my eyes and was able to focus on Declan's face. His face was really close to mine, so close in fact that I could smell his minty fresh breathe as he breathed. He was wearing the same outfit he had been when we had confronted my dad and that whole mess happened. 

Nick sat in the plastic chair in the corner of the room and Ivy sat across his lap, giving him a half smile before brushing her lips slightly across his. They looked like a cute couple but I still wondered how long they would last.