Chapter 56

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Lucien's POV

"So Maddox took you in after Raphael told him?"

"Yeah, but it took some time for me to adjust to life with them."

"And why was that?"

"In the back of my head I knew I killed Quinn so I wanted to spare them from that fate."

"So you tried to make them return you?"

"I'm not worth the effort." I shrugged

"Do you still feel that way?"

"Sometimes." I confessed

"Has there been a recent time you didn't feel worth the effort?"

"My girlfriend was trying to help me when I was depressed the week of my birthday. She has intermittent explosive disorder so she isn't good with emotions and vulnerability. I used that to hurt her so she'd leave." I felt more ashamed admitting it out loud

"Did she?"

"Yeah, but then she forgave me."

"She sounds like a keeper." she chuckled

"I can't help but feel like I'm gonna hurt her."

"Is this your first relationship?"

"No, but shes not like the girls I was with in the past. I feel like we'll last." I explained

"So were you sexually active before her?"

"Very"

"Cocky are we?" she laughed

"I had fun and got it out of my system. Louise is 2 years younger than me and very innocent sexually. I'd be more impatient if I didn't have some experience."

"Do you think you'll get bored of her?"

"Never." I didn't even hesitate

"Young love, it's cute. This is the first time this session your face lit up or you smiled."

"Yeah I'm crazy about her but we got in a fight where I implied I'd break up with her."

"What happened if you don't mind sharing?"

"She's part of a quad. I genuinely worry about her sister sometimes but my girlfriend thought I was into her sister. She had her sister come onto me to see how loyal I was. I lost my cool and yelled that she was childish. I also told her I wouldn't be able to date her if she can't trust me." I broke down the situation for her

"That's a fair reaction. She didn't trust you and as a result put you in an uncomfortable situation. What she did was wrong on many levels but you should also try to understand her insecurities. Not many therapist understand her condition so you can imagine how rarely she finds someone who does. That method was easier for her emotionally than actually confronting you and after what happened during your birth week she probably felt conflicted about being vulnerable again. It's not an excuse for her behavior but since you've expressed wanted to last I thought I'd offer up this perspective."

"I didn't think of it that way." I mumbled

"Are you often attracted to younger girls?"

"No my past flings were older or my age."

"When did you first become active?"

"13"

"Was it consensual?" she asked in a soft voice

"Yeah, consent is important when participating in BDSM... oh sorry does that make you uncomfortable?" I said with a smirk

Most therapists I got stuck with hated when I talked about my sex life so I would do it constantly so they'd be too uncomfortable to continue sessions with me. They'd also kink shame the hell out of me

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