The color of the room was pale pink exactly the color she wanted…there was a sliding glass door in the place of a window. The room was simple yet beautifully designed…it was shaped in a perfect square and small, but just the right size for her. She didn’t want anything fancy or extravagant. Mrs. Cheng had exquisite hidden interior design talent, every room she decorated looks elegant and glamorous. Ariel leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. It's been a long day. She moved a few of the boxes into her room and decided to rest for a few minutes. She could hear Mrs. Cheng chatting excitedly with Mrs. Xu…Joe’s girlfriend’s mother. Ariel groaned softly,her face heating up again in embarrassment. Will there be no end to her humiliation? She wondered. Mrs. Xu and her husband were the Cheng's best friends and business associates. Ariel knew one of their plan was for Joe and Tiffany to marry in the future for business partnership and security. If she had known he already had a girlfriend earlier she wouldn’t have agreed so easily to Director Cheng’s term. Not that it would make a difference how hard of a fight she put, but still…she couldn’t help feeling guilty every time she saw Joe and Tiffany together. She and Joe was never meant to be, their world were so different…if not for that one night of carelessness she and Joe would remained strangers forever. Ariel looked outside the sliding door and saw the moving people hauling boxes up the steps to the apartment. Ariel opened the sliding door and stepped onto the balcony. She felt the beat of her heart quickened and she started to panic…it was really happening. Those people were carrying boxes of her clothes, her books, everything that belonged to her…up into the small apartment. A apartment that she was going to share with Joe Cheng.
Watching the men carrying boxes after boxes, Ariel wanted to cry, she wanted to just let the tears stream down her cheeks like ever flowing river, she wanted to scream, she wanted to curse at god and the world but she held everything inside...her tears, her pain, her fears. She knew no matter how loud she screams or how long…nothing would change. Ariel already knew nothing would change…because she grew up in that world. A world without miracles, a world without dreams…a world filled with hopelessness.
Hopelessness… is Ariel’s best friend, it was sad and depressing to be so well acquainted with the feeling of hopelessness at such a young age…but she already accepted it as a fact of life. After living for seventeen years…Ariel decided she was hopelessness’s best friend…that was why even when she wanted to cry until the river runs dry, she knew it was pointless to shed tears. It was pointless…so why bother?
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Joe stopped and glared at the long steps leading upward toward the apartment. Why did his father choose this apartment of all the apartments that they own? Of course logically it makes sense…it was nearby to his parent’s home, his school and Ariel’s school. But the apartment was so damn small! Joe felt sweat dripping down his face, he was in the process of wiping his face with his shirt but someone else pressed a cloth on his forehead. He glanced up and saw Tiffany. She grinned in a half smile and continue wiping his face then slowly lowered it down to his neck and work her way to his sweaty torso.
"You're wet all over." Tiffany said playfully.
“Stop teasing me, Tiff.” Joe said half heartedly trying to push her hand away.
Tiffany shrugged and dropped the cloth she was holding. She kissed him gently on the lips and asked,
“Is this better?”
Joe sighed and stepped back from her.
“I told you not to come help! Why didn't you listen? How are you taking all of this? Tell me the truth, Tiff.”
Tiffany shrugged and picked the cloth from the floor. She leaned toward Joe and gently wiped the sweats from his forehead.
“I don’t blame you…this happened because of me, so I have no one to blame but me. You said you were tired of playing games with me…but I didn’t listen, I wanted it to be my way…I wanted you to chase after me, to begged me. I should have known you were serious when you said you wanted to stop playing the merry go round games with me…but you and me, Joe we’re the same we’re both too stubborn and wants things our ways only. How am I taking it? I’m pissed as hell, but I’m more angry at myself for letting you go, for causing you such pain that you sought comfort in someone else’s arms.”
Joe stared into her eyes and hated himself for causing the hurt visible in her eyes.
“Ah Tiff, I’m so sorry baby.” He pulled her close to him and kissed her long and hard, his arms encircled her possessively.
“Don’t fall in love with her Joe, promise me.” Tiffany whispered, she lowered her eyes in shame. She didn’t want to say that to him, she didn’t want to appear weak and afraid…but she was. Another woman was carrying his baby, another woman was going to live with him for the next few months…it was only natural that they develop a bond, a closeness…and it was that bond and closeness that she fear the most.
“Shhh…why would I fall in love with her when I have you? I promise Tiff, there’s no one for me but you. You’re my world, you’re my everything…” Joe promised earnestly, deepening their kiss.
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Ariel took a deep breath, slowly in and out, in and out until her stomach settles and she felt a little bit better. She grabbed the balcony rail and lifted her body up. She was only two and a half months pregnant but her stomach was already swelling and morning sickness comes and goes all day. In a few more months she was going to look like a whale and walk like a penguin. Ariel chuckled imagining herself walking like a penguin. The wind suddenly caresses her face, blowing her hair back. Ariel leaned over the railing hoping the wind would blow her way again. She glanced briefly over the balcony and saw Joe and Tiffany kissing. She sighed, her heart filled with guilt again. They were meant to be….they were perfect for each other. She and Joe…they were a mistake.
