When I first learned of self harm,
I never understood how someone
Could hurt themselves on purpose.
When I first learned of depression,
I never figured out why someone
Would be sad, and not happy.
When I first learned of eating disorders,
I couldn't begin to think of how
Someone would starve themselves,
Or throw up all their meals.
When I first learned of suicide,
I never was able to imagine
How someone could take their own life,
Or even want to die.
When I first learned of how the world is,
I finally understood these things.
I didn't have to imagine it.
Or try putting myself in their shoes.
I loved the numbness self harm brought.
I couldn't remember the last time I was truly happy.
I kept starving until I was thin and "beautiful".
And I finally got the courage to let go, and end it all.
Sometimes, innocence is great.
It shields you from the bad.
It keeps you happy, almost childlike.
But sometimes, you have to grow up.
You have to see the world for what it is.
And I can promise you, it almost never ends well.
YOU ARE READING
The Darkness Is Swallowing Me
PoetryA collection of my poems that I wrote about depression, self harm, suicide, and life.
