I'll be here forever

chapter 24

The next few days on the road were uneventful. I mean, sure, a monster popped up here and there, destroyed our car, we stole a new one, and kept driving. The towns we drove through didn't spark any memories whatsoever, so we drove on. Thankfully, the money we'd acquired in our backpack didn't seem like it was running out anytime soon, and occasionally we'd get lucky and find some money in a car we picked up.

Percy was afraid to go to sleep. He didn't explicitly say it, but I could tell. I could tell in the way that he would drive all day and all night without complaint, getting coffee whenever he could. I could tell in the way that whenever I suggested a switch, he'd cringe a little. I could tell in the way that every time he managed to drift off, despite his best protests, he would wake up gasping and terrified. I learned not to ask, because I knew he didn't want to tell me, even though it was eating me up inside. I was worried about him.

Every so often we'd stop in a town, and we'd stay for a day, walking around, eating their food, killing the the occasional monster. I think we got pretty good at killing them, because sometimes we'd see one, and it would skitter away. I always felt pretty proud of myself for that.

I kept track of the days we'd been together. They kept adding on. A week turned into two, turned into three.

Three weeks. Three weeks since we'd woken up together in the middle of that field, with no idea who we were. I wouldn't have changed a thing.

I couldn't tell you exactly when I really fell in love with him. Maybe it was when he memorized my coffee order and recited it at every coffee shop we stopped at. Maybe it was when he saw a spider on the sidewalk in front of me and squashed it before I could say anything, because he remembered how scared I was of them. Maybe it was when I realized that after I would fall asleep in the car, he would take the blanket out of the backpack and drape it over me. Maybe it was as far back as that second day, when I started crying because I thought he'd left me and he wrapped his arms around me and promised me he never would. Or maybe I'd just always been.

But I knew. I knew I was in love with him, and think I realized it when he was driving, sitting next to me, humming along to the radio. The most mundane thing, and still my heart ached for him. That was when I knew.

It terrified me.

And I think that was why I was so scared to go to sleep, now.

I had suggested that we slept in the tent tonight, because we'd just been taking turns driving, and we'd been on the road for days. I'd wanted to sleep on something flat, and Percy had agreed.

For some reason, I'd forgotten the fact that we had to sleep right next to each other, and I moved a lot in my sleep. I remembered that second day, when I'd woken up in his arms. Half of me wished for that again more than anything I'd ever wished for before, and the other half scolded me for feeling that way.

Even though I knew he was scared to, he fell asleep almost immediately, leaving me awake and watching his chest move up and down steadily with his breathing. It helped my racing thoughts calm down a bit, and before I knew it, I was asleep.

I knew I was dreaming, because I couldn't move. I hadn't had a dream before. I wasn't looking forward to them, because of how terrified Percy always seemed when he woke up.

The landscape around me was... whatever it was, it wasn't anywhere on Earth. The ground almost reminded me of leathery, gross skin. I shivered. My eyes adjusted to the harsh, dark light. And even though I couldn't move, I could feel everything. It was hot. Gods, it was hot. I felt like I was burning up, and it was just a dream.

My eyes passed over the terrain, and I spotted two people, one girl, one boy, making their way slowly across. They were dirty, burned, and terrified.

Upon closer inspection, I realized... One of the people was Percy. I would know those eyes anywhere. He was carrying someone else, supporting her. She was muscular but petite, and I recognized her curly hair. It was me.

It was Percy, and me. In a place that couldn't be described as anything other than hell.

Then something happened; the landscape melted, folding around in on itself, twisting and giving me a headache.

When it stopped, Percy and I were still in this hellscape, but we were fighting something. Many somethings. They almost looked like demon grandmothers, and I couldn't get a good enough look at them to describe them further.

Somehow, I knew that if you killed one of them, you were given a curse by someone you had wronged. I winced as Percy stabbed one, it exploding into gold dust and him staggering backward as his shirt became soaked with blood.

And then the demon grandmothers-

Arai. The name clicked in my brain.

Then the Arai descended upon them, hissing and clawing. Percy and I- we did our best to fight them off without killing them, but they kept coming. I knew we wouldn't be able to fend them all off indefinitely.

I looked away, not wishing to see Percy and I get torn apart, and that's when I saw him. Percy was here. Not dream Percy, but my Percy. He wasn't intangible like I was. He was here, actually here. It looked like he was trapped in some invisible box, because he kept throwing himself as hard as he could against an invisible wall.

I drifted closer to him, but not of my own accord. Whatever was controlling my dream wanted me closer to him.

And then I could hear him. He was screaming, yelling for dream me and dream him to stop, pounding against the invisible walls as hard as he could. The fear in his voice broke something deep inside of me, and I turned back to our dream selves just in time to see what happened.

An Arai lunged for Percy, and I killed it before it killed him. I immediately knew I'd been cursed with blindness. How, I didn't know, but I did. Another one lunged for me, and I killed it, accidentally.

That was when it happened. Half of me could feel her pain. I felt every burn of hers, every scratch.

She couldn't see anything. It was just blackness, never ending blackness. And there was an acute pain, like nothing I'd ever felt before; the feeling of being abandoned. She thought Percy abandoned her. She thought he left her, all alone, to wander around hell without him by her side.

She was calling his name, and couldn't hear a reply.

The other half of me knew what was really happening. Percy hadn't left at all. The Arai let her wander, blindly, hopeless, feeling abandoned, leaving her alone, letting her suffer alone, turning to Percy instead.