I'll be here forever

chapter 66 | Percy

And I kept walking.

I turned away from them, and I kept walking, one foot in front of the other, hardly feeling the jolt of each step.

I didn't really think much of it, leaving them there. In a haze, I left their bodies there, cold, and I kept walking. Because I had to get somewhere.

Everything was a little fuzzy, and if I thought about it, I could hardly remember my own name, not that I'd remembered much before. But I kept walking anyways.

Where did I have to go, again? I didn't remember. Which way was I walking? Why?

The buzzing in my mind didn't start to fade for a long time, much longer than the first time. It was almost like killing the dragon, first, had given me only a taste of the real thing. I savored the feeling for as long as I could, the high of it, the addicting sliver of power I held in my hands. I squeezed out every last bit that I could.

It filled me with energy, taking away the pain. I knew it'd be back, but it wasn't here now, so I saved that problem for later.

Something I did notice, though, were my hands. My hands shook. They were bloody, and they shook violently, and I couldn't get them to stop. Why were they bloody, again? But it didn't matter, not really. It almost felt like my brain was filled with static.

And it was strange, the buzzing in my ears, the lightheadedness, the weird but intoxicating feeling of everything and yet nothing at all. The static didn't let me think.

And I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the nothingness, the buzzing in my ears. Because there wasn't anything to worry about, anything to plan. There was just me, and the exhilarating high of freedom that I never really wanted to fade.

I wasn't ready for it to end.

But I knew I was starting to crash when it hurt to breath again. The pain of just simply breathing had been relieved, just for a bit, and now it was back, weighing down on my chest.

Pretty soon, every breath in felt like a knife in my gut, like the knife I used to kill him. Leo.

And that was when I knew everything was about to come crashing back down again. Because I was starting to think again. There was no more blissful ignorance, no more exhilarating high. I reached for it, but it slipped further away from me.

The very last of it burnt out. I felt it. I felt it leave my veins, evaporate. The thrilling rush was gone, and in its place was a chilling emptiness, a blackness that I didn't know if anything could ever quite fill. The pain was back. The never-ending pain.

My ribs ached, and my chest was on fire- I honestly felt I might die right there. I probably should have. I should have died there. In the middle of the woods, no one around, on my own terms. The pain in my legs was practically unbearable, jolting through me every time I took a step. Every part of me was sore, every last muscle.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I started getting lightheaded, my vision spinning. My head hurt so badly, I couldn't think in a straight line, much less form a coherent sentence.

The greens of the forest blended together, and nothing made sense anymore. I couldn't feel the ground beneath my feet, couldn't see the difference of the greens in the trees and the grass. It was like everything around me had gotten tossed into a blender, crushed, and then spat back out.

The very top of my toe caught on an upturned root. That was when I pitched forward. My sight blurred and faded, and I blacked out.

Hell, I was out before I even hit the ground.