I'll be here forever

chapter 38

The night was warm, not humid or muggy, and it could only be described as perfect. We were lying on our backs in the field, as close to each other that we could get. The huge lights that had illuminated the baseball field before had long since shut off, casting the field in a darkness that didn't scare me.

The skies were so clear that you could see every star, every tiny pinprick of light that was up there. We spent a while naming constellations; me, naming ones like Andromeda, Orion, Ursa Major, and Percy making them up as he went, like the frog, the beaver, and the huntress. I argued that that wasn't a real constellation, but he insisted, and so I let him have it.

He held me in his arms, and I'd never felt safer. I finally had everything I wanted, I finally had all of him, and he was mine. Finally.

"You know, I've waited forever for this," he admitted, pulling me closer. I let him, suppressing a smile. Even though it was dark, and I could only see the silhouette of him, I knew exactly what he looked like. I knew him by heart; the curve of his nose, the slant of his jaw, the green of his eyes. I could picture him exactly.

"I bet I can beat you," I told him, "I've wanted to this for quite a while."

"Mmm, I'll have to disagree."

"Oh yeah? When for you?"

"First day. You were talking about how strange it was that our memories weren't fully wiped, and that we still knew some things, and I just... I knew."

"Wow. Yeah, you're right, you have me beat. Really, that long?"

"Mhm."

"I remember that. I remember thinking that you were looking at me strangely."

"Well, fuck, I'm sure that didn't make a great first impression."

I laughed, and Percy leaned down and kissed me again, and I felt on top of the world. He smiled into the kiss, and I wondered how I got to be so lucky. What had I done to be the one to make him smile like that? What had I done to deserve him?

He pulled away with a smile, and I sighed, content.

"Okay, your turn," he told me.

"A long time ago. Right before your first nightmare, I think. That was when..." I hesitated, not wanting to go down that road. It'd been a long time since I thought about that, and I wasn't about to start now.

Percy knew what I was talking about. His arm tightened around me.

"By the way, what weren't you telling me? You do that sometimes. Not tell me the whole story."

Percy hesitated, before laughing.

"What?"

"Did you know we were together before this?"

I turned to look at him incredulously, even though I couldn't really see him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I asked.

"Nope. I get snatches here and there, nothing huge, but enough to piece it together."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I complained, crossing my arms, but not moving away. I wasn't that angry.

Percy was quiet for a second, thinking.

"I wanted you to like me, not what we used to be," he admitted, quietly.

I didn't know what to say to that. I guess I understood. But still it nagged at me that we could've had this so much sooner, had he just told me.

Even so, given his position, I probably would've done the same.

"Tell me about us," I whispered.

And under the stars, he told me everything he knew.

He told me of the River Styx, and how I was his only anchor. He told me of holding up the sky. He told me of his achilles heel, and how he would be dead without me. He told me of sleeping in the stables on a flying ship. He told me of sitting on the floor of a zoo truck. He told me of small things, and big things, things he glimpsed only for a moment.

I said that I wished I could see them. He said that he wished I could, too.