I'll be here forever

chapter 28

When I opened my eyes in the morning, the first thing I was aware of was the very awkward position I was in.

How I'd ended up in this position, exactly, I had no idea. I think that when I'm asleep, my unconscious brain tries its absolute hardest to sabotage whatever happens to be left of my dignity and level of social comfort.

I'd somehow ended up on top of him; my head on his chest, both of my arms nestled into his body. Our legs were a tangle I didn't want to try and unknot. One of his arms was loosely wrapped around me, and the other had gone up the back of my shirt, so his fingertips were resting on my bare lower back. It sent a shiver down my spine, and caused my cheeks to burn, while I suppressed a smile.

I wasn't sure what time it was, but I hoped it was early, if only giving me more time to stay just like this. I'd had the best sleep I'd had in forever.

Despite the awkward conversation I was sure that would follow, it felt like I was made to be there, his chest rising and falling steadily with his breathing. We fit together perfectly. And he was so warm, and I felt content for the first time in a long time.

I found myself thinking about that first night we'd spent together, when I'd moved so much in my sleep that we'd ended up in another awkward (but comfortable) position.

Look at how far we've come.

Time passed. I was almost asleep again when I heard Percy's breath hitch; his heartbeat that was so steady before, speeding up to a mile a minute. I kept my eyes closed.

"Shit, shit, msorrymsorrymsorrymsorry," he breathed, quickly retracting his hand from underneath my shirt. I found myself missing his touch.

"S'okay," I mumbled, still half-asleep.

He was silent for a second; I could picture his face, which was probably bright red.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked quietly.

"Mmh, good."

Percy tucked a stray hair of mine behind my ear, so gently that it made a shiver of electricity run down my spine as his fingers brushed up against it. I wonder if he realized how easily he was making me fall more in love with him.

"Are you going to let me get up?" he asked, a smile in his voice.

"No."

He snorted, but didn't make any moves to push me off him, or anything of the such. I could hardly keep my eyes open.

I drifted in and out of consciousness, and Percy hummed my favorite song. When it happened to come on the radio, we would crank up the volume all the way and I would sing along at the top of my lungs.

I was struck again by how nice his voice was. It was just the right pitch, without him trying. I wondered what he would sound like if he actually tried to sing.

When I was sure I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep, I sighed in regret, and rolled off of him rather unceremoniously. I plopped onto the mattress next to him.

"You're warm," I grumbled, and Percy laughed. I loved his laugh.

I turned onto my side to face him, resting my head on my elbow and my other arm in between us. He was facing upward, eyes fixed on the top of the tent. I admired him for a moment; the sharp sculpt of his jaw, the curve of his nose, his perpetually messy hair.

"How about you? No nightmares?" I asked him, looking away from his face to try and return my cheeks to their normal color.

Percy hesitated, and I felt my heart drop.

"Not... exactly," he said carefully.

"What do you mean?"

"I guess it wasn't really a nightmare. More of just... a dream. A short one."

"Tell me about it?"

I liked when he talked about things that interested him. When Percy talked, he used his hands to illustrate everything. Especially when he got excited. So while we were lying down, he'd lazily gesture with his hands right over his chest, elbows on the floor, acting out the story with his hands unconsciously.

I watched as the corner of his mouth pulled upward into a slight smile. I felt the sudden urge to kiss him until we were both dizzy, but I stopped myself before I did something so stupid. Even though it required a lot of effort.

"It was about you," he admitted, the knuckles on one of his hands brushing against mine. I couldn't breathe.

"We were on these... things. I think they were like, half horse, half fish?" he shook his head slightly, "and we were bringing something- shit, uh... the Golden Fleece, if I remember right. And we were bringing it... we were bringing it, uh.. what's the-" he paused, searching for the right word.

"Home. We were bringing it home."

The word was foreign. We'd never had a home, not really; all I knew is that my home was wherever I was with him.

Then he smiled, like the memory of the dream was the nicest feeling on earth.

"You were sleeping. You looked so... young. You had to have been twelve, maybe thirteen, if I had to guess. You had this really bad cut on your forehead. I was worried about you. That was... when I..." he trailed off, brows furrowing.

"What?"

"...Nevermind," he decided, propping himself up on his elbows, turning his head to look at me, "how about I make breakfast?"

"Don't change the subject," I grumbled, annoyed. I knew he was holding something back. I got the sense that he did that a lot.

"It doesn't matter, really." he insisted, getting up, shrugging on a jacket that we'd picked up from one of the towns we'd stopped in.

"C'mon," he gave me his hand, and I felt a shiver run down my arm as he helped me to my feet. He gave me a little smile and then stepped out of the tent; I followed with a huff of annoyance.

The first dream he'd had that he wouldn't tell me about, the ease at which he lied, the nagging feeling of mine that he was hiding something. All of these raised bright red flags for me.

While I was most definitely completely in love with this boy, I wasn't stupid, or blind. I was going to find out what he was hiding from me, and I was going to do it before it ate me up inside, that's for sure.

Following Percy, I stepped out of the tent and into the clearing where we'd set up, the morning dew brushing against my ankles. Our newest car was parked give or take ten feet away from the tent, just in case we had to hop in and drive away in an emergency. It happened much more often than you'd think.

Percy rounded the corner of the car, an older blue Toyota, opening the door and rummaging through it. Avoiding me. He was probably grabbing the leftovers we'd stashed there yesterday; two cartons of cold waffles we'd stolen from iHop. What can I say, breakfast for dinner (and the same breakfast for breakfast) is the way to go.

I crossed my arms, trying to think of ways I could grill the answers to my questions out of him. A small part of me tried to reason that there must be a good reason for him to keep a secret from me, but my insatiable curiosity and anxiety squashed it pretty quickly.

Worst case scenario, he's been lying to me this entire time and orchestrated my memory loss and everything that's happened since. I really, really hoped I was wrong, because I didn't know if my heart could take it.

If I really thought about it, I really didn't know him that well. I didn't know myself very well. Still, the way he so easily lied and manipulated that old man and Nelly so long ago... something about it didn't sit right with me. How would I know if he were acting with me, too?

I was lost in thought, waiting for Percy to get back with the food, when there was suddenly a very sharp pain the the back of my head.

I fell to my knees, stunned. I could barely see my hands in front of me, my eyesight blurring, and I fought the urge to give into the black I could see out of the corners of my eyes. I opened my mouth to call out for Percy; but they hit me again in the same spot, and the blackness enveloped my vision. I didn't even feel myself hit the ground.