Axel

Inner Turmoil

Storm

The fears we don't face become our limits

I sat on a small hill outside the pack house, apart from Freida I was the only full blooded witch here... Have I led them all to their doom? I pulled grass loose from the ground pondering over everything. Had I led Keir straight to them? Am I the reason that they didn't get enough warning?

I taught him everything he knows... well almost everything I guess... Can they really defeat him? Or will this be another blood bath like the Rogues they faced years ago?

"Hey you doing ok?" I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice Axel sitting beside me, he is my pairing the connection is there, but why do I get the feeling he's not?

"I'm kinda nervous Storm" He looked at me, I stayed silent allowing him a chance to speak "Reign and I, My cousins we grew up listening to these stories you know? Diego and his Iron Soldier days Pops' right hand man, Mom and her partying, how they all grew up overnight and took on all these Rogues how Mom went into death and brought everyone back. How Dad led the pack to victory and how he rebuilt everything after he got Mom back and I can't help but wonder am I capable of doing the same? I am a Alpha born wolf do you know what that means?"

"It means" I cleared my throat to remove the croak from not speaking for so long "it means your wolf is bigger, faster, stronger. It needs to be to lead your pack" Axel laughed slightly "Exactly, I have all of those things and yet am I meant to be Alpha? What if something happens and I don't know how to deal with it?"

"You'll know"

"How? How will I know? We've never faced anything like this before! We grew up in a freaking mansion not the pack house! We've been sheltered our whole lives and now we are just expected to be ok with this?!" He shook his head, playing with his hands. I took a deep breath gathering my thoughts "you know Axel when I lost my parents, I didn't think I could go on. Honestly I didn't see a point in it. I wanted to curl up and succumb to my injuries. I should be dead but instead I am here. Facing the person who killed my family for what will now be a third time. The point I'm trying to make is, you guys had a wonderful life to date, comfortable without fear, full of love and happiness. Don't you want to fight to keep that? Why are you giving up and throwing in the towel before anything has even happened?" 

He looked out into the distance lost in thought but I continued "All I'm saying is, you get to fight alongside your family and I don't. The difference between us is you are fighting to keep your family safe and alive while I am avenging mine. Life isn't always sunshine and roses but you just have to ride the wave and hope that this storm will pass" 

"Thanks Storm" I nodded silently as he got up and walked away.  Am I right? Is this really why I'm fighting? I only met these people a couple of weeks ago why do I care what happens to them?

Because he's your pair

Is he though?

I sat for a bit longer and watched everyone, the wolves really do stick together, the respect for Kol as the Alpha is powerful, but the respect the Royals receive is overwhelming. The love truly runs deep in this pack, that is abundantly clear, so why do I feel like such an outsider? Why am I blaming myself for something that is out of my control?

Am I actually feeling this? Or is someone else?

I shook my head, I'm imagining it. I'm doubting myself like always. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't supposed to be here the King would've had my head the day I walked through his castle doors. Axel is my pair, he is my mate. His family is my family, that is why I am here. I watched as Diego and Gianna trained the pack members in different types of fighting combinations, I watched as the next generation imitated their parents by teaching the younger ones. The ones more adapt at magic showed them how to try to avoid it, how they could tap into the full potential of their senses. 

I've heard it can sometimes be difficult for wolves to blend in around humans, most of the time they dull their senses to avoid being over stimulated when they're in the human world. I watched Axel try to find his place, he stayed close to Alpha Kol almost imitating his every move, down to his stance, his aura. There was no doubt he is an Alpha born wolf but yet why did the movements look so uncomfortable and alien to him. Alpha Kol is a skilled wolf and a seasoned fighter, not to mention he's got the legendary Berserker streak in him. That just makes him far more interesting as a wolf, that gene was supposed to have died out with his great-grandfather's generation with them having hunted down the last of the Berserker's. 

Berserker wolves are more bloodthirsty and a lot harder to control, once one gets killing its often difficult to stop them, but to have one as a Alpha is unheard of and yet he controls himself so well. I've seen glimpses of it, the flash across the eyes at the mention that his family, his pack and his land are in danger. His self control is admirable. Not forgetting of course that he outright mentioned it at our first meeting. Does that mean his entire pack knows? And yet they respect him without fear, he is a good leader. 

"Hey what has you so lost in thought?" Reign plopped down beside me gulping down some water. "Just thinking about this situation and how we can overcome it" She flicked her hair over her shoulder "We'll be fine. We're the Blue Moon Pack. There's no one like us" she winked at me 

"Your confidence is refreshing" I nudged her with my shoulder smiling, I looked up at the sky watching the dark clouds rolling in, the eerie silence as the fog drifts across the ground "I hope you can keep that confidence up" 

Reign looked at me puzzled "Why?"

I pointed to the sky just as bone chilling howls rang through the air "Because he's here"