In Your Corner | ✓

Fourteen

"You look terrible."

I inhale and exhale slowly, trying to remind myself why I have the friends that I do.

Unfortunately, that revelation doesn't really come, so I connect my eyes with Anandi instead. "Leave it out," I snap waspishly, not appreciating her candour at this hour in the morning.

Even after Josh hung up last night, it took me quite a while to get to sleep. I lay there, tossing and turning, wondering if he was doing the same.

And about how I didn't really have much of a right to message him and ask.

And about the possibility that maybe I did.

Either way, I didn't do it. I eventually settled into a fitful sleep and left the apartment at six thirty this morning to hit the gym in a vain attempt to alleviate some of the stress that's been slowly building lately.

Now, it's eight fifteen and I've just arrived back in the apartment, to find Anandi enjoying her breakfast at a leisurely pace, given that she didn't get up at the crack of dawn.

We both have class at nine o'clock on Wednesdays, so we usually share a ride to campus. If MJ can be bothered to get out of her bed before her eleven o'clock class, she comes with us and stays in the library for a while.

It would seem that this particular Wednesday isn't like that.

"You know it's my way of asking if you're all right," Anandi reasons, concern glimmering in those dark irises of hers. "You look exhausted, Nat. Did you even sleep at all last night?"

I laugh dryly, because that's what everyone seems to be asking these days. "Yeah, I got a few hours, but I wanted to get a gym session in this morning."

"You're going to burn yourself out."

The irritation of literally everyone saying this to me right now bubbles over. "Yeah, I get it, okay?" I gripe. "Doesn't mean you have to be tracking my every move and constantly asking me what I'm doing and if I'm okay."

I know I'm being irrational and unfairly taking out my frustrations at the world on my roommate, who's only trying to be there for me, even though I'm not really talking to her about how I'm doing at the minute. The whole situation is just getting to me and I'm not really sure what to do about it.

Concern is masked with anger. "Don't come at me for looking out for you," she retorts, getting up from the kitchen counter and dumping her plate in the sink with a clang.

Groaning, I pinch the bridge of my nose and shut my eyes for a second. "Sorry," I call after her retreating body as the guilt eats at me. "Nandi, wait."

To her credit, Anandi pauses and spins around on her heel. If I were her, I probably wouldn't have even bothered after being talked to like that.

"I shouldn't have snapped, I'm sorry, Anandi," I sigh, making my way towards her and grabbing her hand gently. "I'm sorry. I'm just... a little stressed about everything."

Anandi's free hand comes up to cup the side of my face. "It's funny, because you often say that no one wants to accept your help. I think you're the one denying any help here, Nat," she points out softly, worry etched into her frown lines.

I lean my face into her hand, enjoying the touch. I haven't been able to tell her about Josh and honestly, it's getting to me a little. I tell her, MJ, Jonny and often Andrei literally everything and the one time I want to be able to, it's a bit too complicated.

"Why aren't you sleeping well?" she presses, but it's not aggressive. She just sounds like the concerned and brilliant friend that she's always been.