Twenty-Nine

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Josh's fingers are threatening to cut off my blood circulation as he sits next to me, his hands gripping mine like a vice.

His breathing is shallow and his knee bounces a mile a minute, shaking the chair he's sitting on and mine next to his by extension.

Gently, I reach out and place my free hand on his knee cap, but it doesn't stop the movement. In fact, I'm fairly sure he doesn't even notice.

"Josh," I murmur quietly, pressing down a little harder.

His wide eyes snap to mine and his lips part a little. "Oh," he mumbles, lowering his foot flat on the ground, his face sheepish. "Didn't realise. Sorry."

I smile tenderly at him, shaking my head. "It's okay. How are you doing?"

His throat works as he tries to come up with an answer. "I, uh... I'm pretty nervous, but I think you know that already."

I rub my thumb gently on his knee. "Yeah. You're going to be fine, though."

"I've just been on edge the last few days," he admits, hands shaking. "I can't really concentrate on anything."

It's not been hard to tell how he's been feeling the whole of this week, actually. After he stayed over at mine last Thursday evening, we went on Friday morning to file the complaint.

It was a complicated process, actually, but to our relief, they took us seriously.

The security camera outside of Smith's doesn't reach that far down the alleyway unfortunately, but the owner had mentioned they would probably be able to find some kind of footage that correlated with the event, of me walking down there and the two men we're accusing of running away.

The UBC Dean assured us with a friendly smile that he's a feminist and is taking our complaint seriously.

So, it's now the following Thursday and we're sitting here, waiting for another meeting with him, to see what the progress is.

At Josh's request, the investigation is being conducted privately, with no public knowledge about it. He begged and begged the Dean to only release information if it went his way.

I don't blame him at all. The backlash we're going to face when it inevitably goes public is going to be horrible.

He still looks really stressed about it now.

I bob my head up and down. "I know. Me neither."

I've been a little all over the place too, unsure of how to deal with things. On Sunday evening, I had a conversation about it with Jonny when driving him back from Dad's, but other than that, I haven't breathed a word to anyone yet.

A lot of Friday afternoon was spent just trying to calm Josh down. I think that talking about it when we were reporting it was really difficult for him and dredged up a lot of issues.

Not to mention the fear that he would open up about this and then not be believed.

I've spent every evening on the phone with him, because he's not really been able to sleep very well. We haven't had another sleepover, despite my offer on Friday night.

After he declined then, I didn't offer again, assuming he would ask if he wanted to.

Somehow, MJ didn't realise that he stayed over on Thursday night. If she did, then she didn't say anything. Anandi didn't come back until after her exam, so didn't notice either.

A voice drags me out of my reverie and I realise it's the Dean's secretary, telling us that he's ready for us.

Josh sucks in a sharp breath and I squeeze his hand as we stand up together.

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