it's inevitable | st berry

CHAPTER 8

I walked, and walked, and walked. I went as far away from both my apartment and the Coffee Shop as I could, trying and failing to not think of the blue-eyed boy.

"You have every right to leave me right here and never talk to me again. All I want you to know is that I never ever stopped loving you."

What happens now though? I have to see him at school, and I have an assignment with him.

I can't ignore him or anything. But I certainly don't want to talk to him either.

I tried to stop overthinking everything as I got closer and closer to the apartment. I stayed like a fool at the front door looking for my keys until about 15 minutes later I managed to find them and entered the apartment.

Santana was watching a movie on the couch and Kurt was cooking dinner.

"Hey" I dropped the keys on the table and tried to go straight to my room so they won't start asking questions.

But both of them were staring at me.

"Rachel, have you been crying?" Kurt worriedly asked as he stepped out of the kitchen and looked at me in the eyes.

"No I- I'm okay." I lied. Kurt knew that was not true and immediately pulled me into a hug as I tried my best not to break down in tears.

—

A few hours passed and I tried doing different things to keep my mind off of today. I took a nap, tried to help Kurt cook but eventually gave up, listened to my comfort playlist, watched interviews of my favorite idols, and I am now laying on the couch with Santana next to me watching Pitch Perfect.

"Oh please, this movie is ridiculous." Santana sighed and turned the tv off.

"Santana! I was enjoying the songs." I turned around to face her. "Give it back." I pointed to the controller.

"Nope." she replied. "Not until you tell me about what happened today." I tried to ignore her intense gaze by burying myself in a blanket.

"Look, Rachel. I can't stand you about 90% of the time but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me or tell me stuff."

"I actually care about you." she paused "But don't tell anyone."

"I won't." I smiled.

"So, do you plan on telling me what happened?"

"Fine," I told her everything without leaving any details out. I knew I could trust her, even if we sometimes hate each other she and Kurt are the only people I would trust my life with.

"Oh," she replied.

"Really? I've been talking for 15 minutes straight and that's all you have to say?" I asked.

"Berry, I'm glad you left and stood up for yourself but I was kinda rooting for you two. But at least you talked, right? That's progress."

"Yeah, I guess,"

"I mean do you even think one day you could forgive him or do you just want to ignore him forever?"

Honestly, I had no idea how to answer that question. I mean he had, and still has, a big place in my heart and maybe someday we'll find each other again and be whatever we were. Thinking about not talking to him never again just pains me, and that's how I know that I'll forgive him, eventually.

"I- I think I can forgive him. I don't want him to disappear from my life again. But not yet" I managed to answer.

"Well, that's okay,"

"Yeah"

"Well then you need to talk to him again. And if he does something to you or you simply want to punch him or hit his car, call me up and I'll join you." She mischievously smiled at me.

"Thank you. I'm gonna hug you now, kay?" I went to hug her and pulled back as soon as Kurt opened the door.

"Okay. So. I got stressed and instead of doing the actual shopping I was going to do, I brought over 2 pizzas and an entire package of Oreos. Anyone up for a movie marathon?"

I laughed and nodded along with Santana, and we spent the rest of the night finishing Pitch Perfect and gossiping.

It was pretty nice.

--
One week later

Jesse waved at me with a small smile every time he saw me in the hallways but he looked miserable.

I just waved at him back to be polite but I was feeling miserable too. I was glad I now see him every day.

I missed seeing him often.

"Remember that you have the duet and solo assignment due next Monday. Feel free to use the time of the class today to start working. I will repeat the partners in case you forgot." Ms. Swift was telling us in our Musical Theatre class.

Jesse and I awkwardly walked together to the corner of the class and sat down at the chairs.

"I managed to find a list of songs that would fit both of our voices well together." Jesse paused. "Well, every song would sound amazing with both of us singing it, but these will guarantee us a great first impression on Ms. Swift." He sent me a small smile and gave me the list.

Rolling in the deep - Adele was written in elegant handwriting along with thousands of other songs. I've always been a great fan of Adele's works since that woman basically can hit every note to exist, but this song has always been my favorite one of hers. It was that or Hello - Lionel Richie, the first song we sang together.

Rolling in the Deep was the only one that really caught my attention out of the hundred ones Jesse wrote.

"We should go with the first one. I love Adele." I told him a bit too seriously.

He stared at me for a second too long and then nodded.

We went through the song a thousand times and the class was almost over. I sang horribly! I could not focus, I forgot the lyrics a million times and I just wasn't feeling it. I never forget the lyrics. Never.

"We can practice another time if you want to Rach- Rachel" He immediately corrected himself from saying the nickname he always had for me.

"No I-I'm good it's just I don't know what's wrong" I replied.

But I did know what was wrong. Everything was wrong. I can't manage to hear him sing flawlessly and see him smile every time I sing a line with him because it just made me want to stop the music and throw myself at him. But I stop myself from doing that, because I was the one who pushed him away this time.

We were doing the song another time and Jesse suddenly stopped the music.

"Can we talk, Rachel?" I stared at the floor.

"I- I know we talked but I don't want to leave our conversation that way," he said in a small voice.

"Please? After class?" He begged.

I just nodded and he sent me a small smile.