*SMUT WARNING*
(Repeat Wires by The Neighborhood)
Zhavia's Of View
Tuesday
December 23, 2016
I leave his room closing the door behind me, I lean my back against it thinking, I didn't think I wanted to get even, I didn't. Not before, but that was the first time in months I've felt like myself, the first time I've felt like I've had the upper hand.
I felt in control and it feels good to take that back, to be in control of everything.
I start on my way down the stairs seeing Cam, Lisa, and Sean cleaning everything up. "He's fine, turns out he really just isn't feeling well." I announce making my presence known. "Aw, I'll have to check on him in the morning, it is flu season." Lisa yawns continuing to put things away. "Thank you, for going up and checking on him." Sean says.
"It wasn't a problem really." I assure him.
"You okay?" Cam mouthes to me. I just nod and so does she. She has no idea how much better I feel. I am absolutely done feeling sorry for myself.
I look around before stepping outside, I run straight for the trucks passenger door knocking on it frantically. Ethan unlocks it from the inside immediately. "You look happier than I do." He laughs as I hop in closing the door.
"Maybe I am." I shrug, his smile fades and instead turns into... realization? "So I take it your talk with Grayson went good?" He asks quietly, like he doesn't want to know. "You saw that?" He was so excited about the truck I didn't even think he noticed.
"You mean him storming off like a toddler and you running after him?" He stares straight ahead at the road, not looking at me. I reach for his hand, trying to take his hand in mine, but he just pulls his hand away slowly running his fingers through his hair. I understand, I get how this looks, he's just trying to protect himself. To protect his own feelings, he's smart.
"You wanna drive me home?" I speak up looking out my window. He doesn't even answer, he just starts the truck and neither of us says a word. I don't want him to know how cold I was, to Grayson. I also know he's sitting here next to me assuming the worst. It doesn't take long for us to get to my house. I contemplate on what I'm about to say next, I don't want him to feel sorry for me, or know that I can be a cold bitch.
Then I remember that being honest is probably my best bet, so it's what I go with.
"Grayson and Julissa had sex, the night of the party." He turns his head looking at me in disbelief. "What?" He asks.
"Yeah..."
"How do you know?" I lean back letting my head rest on the head rest, looking up. "The night I went to his room I found a condom wrapper, and I wasn't sure you know so I didn't want to say anything. I didn't want to know. Then tonight he threw it in my face how much of a terrible person I am for trying to move on... with you, his best friend. So, I told him I knew and he confirmed it..."
"Are you okay?" He asks, I turn my head, looking at him shrugging my shoulders. "I've never been better. And I know it's weird to say that but it's true. I thought hearing him tell me that it's true would make me feel like I wasn't enough, not for him. Instead, it just made me feel the opposite."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I'm an asshole Ethan. There's a reason I don't want him to face consequences for what he did, the reason I don't care about what he and Julissa did... it doesn't matter cause I feel guilty that- that.. I'm in love with you. There is no doubt in my mind that I love Grayson but I'm not- I wasn't in love with him and I knew that, I know that. I'm glad he and Julissa had sex, because now I don't have to feel guilty anymore." I shrug, and he doesn't say anything. He just looks at me like he's thinking, like he's shocked. A stale silence sits over us and it's clear he's not going to say anything.
