Song : Noah Cyrus (feat. Leon Bridges) - July
February 2nd 2017
Narrators POV
(One month later..)
Weeks go by yet they feel like months, time is no longer measured by minutes, hours, or even seconds anymore.
They're measured by the smell of his hoodies that are beginning to no longer smell like him.
She's finds herself terrified of that day, the day that's coming when she'll smell his hoodie and they'll no longer smell like him, it puts a fear in my heart that sickens her.
The sent of him lingers, it hangs in the air and it's all she has left. Like an hourglass running out of sand, she's just waiting for the last grain to fall...
"And the assault?" The calming voice of Mindy, her therapist pulled her back to reality, Z cleared her throat answering.
"Yes um I'm sorry, what was that?"
"The assault Zhavia, how have you dealt with it?" She cringed at the use of that word.
"I'd prefer we didn't say assault. It just makes it sound so.."
"Serious?" Mindy asked leaning forward into Z who's sitting up straight on the Grey couch across from her.
"Exactly yes it makes it seem like I was helpless or something."
"Because you were."
Z's eyebrows furrow in annoyance. "I am not helpless." She gets out with a hint of sass in her tone. She didn't mean to come off as rude but it's not like she wanted to be there.
Mindy sat back in her chair, nodding, agreeing with Z.
"Of course you aren't, but in that moment Z, you were..." Z gives her no reaction. She just sits there, staring out the window of the tall building, looking down at everyone walking below her.
"You are very strong Zhavia, that's very transparent to me. However going through something like that can make you feel like you are otherwise weak and powerless. So, tell me because I'm listening. How did you feel in that moment? That moment when he assaulted- I mean hurt you." She lets out a sign and pulled her attention away from the window instead looking down at her hands now, thinking.
"Like I couldn't breathe." She answered, Mindy gave her a look, a look that said 'what did you actually feel?' She swallowed thickly she began to try to actually think back on how she felt that night.
If she was being honest, she didn't really know what she truly felt, thinking about that night, that moment, it wasn't something she found herself doing a lot of.
All she wanted more than anything was to forget.
"I felt like I was nothing." Mindy nodded, listening. She's relieved to hear Z actually an effort to participate. "Could you expand on that?" Z began thinking.
"I felt like I didn't matter, not to him. I knew he had a short temper and that he could get violent at times but he had never done it to me... Not like that.."
"What do you mean?"
Immediately she thinks back to the night things should have ended. The time she should have opened her eyes to what he truly saw her as. "He and I got into it before, but he didn't hurt me on purpose, he promised he'd never do it again which here we are, surprise... It was a lie."
