Best of Me

10. The First Night (The night of confessions)

"God! It looks ridiculous!" Taehyung rolled his eyes at the typical decoration. But as soon as he averted his eyes from the bed,he caught Jeongguk's smile dropping to a frown who was standing by the nightstand, adoring the decorations.

Shit.

"Yeah. I'll ask someone to get rid of it. I'll take a bath." Taehyung noticed how Jeongguk avoided his eyes while saying the words. But for the mere second when Taehyung's eyes caught them,the hurt was so evident that he couldn't deny it even if he wanted to. He realised that he messed up.

Before Jeongguk could step in the bathroom Taehyung hastily stopped him by his wrist but letting it go as soon as the younger stopped,the latter still not meeting his eyes. "Jeongguk shi,I'm sorry. I-...I didn't mean it..."

"It's nothing to be sorry, hyung. You just said what you feel." Jeongguk smiled with the words and Taehyung didn't know why it hurt him to acknowledge that the reason that smile didn't reach his eyes,was himself.

"No- i- just-" Taehyung took a deep breath to gather his thoughts and feelings. "Jeongguk shi, I'm genuinely sorry. Can we talk about this over a drink after freshening up?" Taehyung tried to negotiate. He realized that his words were harsh and he wants to make it right.

"We can do that." The younger smiled again, this time it looked a little less forced and Taehyung felt relieved.

When Taehyung came out of the bathroom, he saw Jeongguk sitting on the balcony with a couple of beer cans. He smiled subconsciously and sat by him.

"I didn't wanna scare you on our first night..." Taehyung blushed internally when he remembered it was their first night,their nuptial night.

Shrugging off the shyness, he continued, "I have mild social anxiety...." he paused for a minute and resumed after taking a few deep breaths,"and whenever I feel uncomfortable I deal with it by over talking or trying to be witty. And I fuc- mess up every time. I'm really sorry for hurting your feelings. It's not that I don't like it,I just got awkward remembering that it's.... our.... wedding..... Night....." by the time Taehyung finished,he was bright red by embarrassment. Not only he came out about his mental health on the first night but also he made it awkward by mentioning that the night in fact,was their first night.

"I'm glad you could share,hyung. Well, it is kind of awkward......" Jeongguk smiled shyly while ducking his head a little and when he glanced at Taehyung from underneath his lashes with that shy but bright smile, the latter's heart might have skipped a beat or two.

He quickly grabbed a beer can and struggled to open it. He saw Jeongguk smile again before the younger took the can from his hand,opened and drank half of it in a go.

"You're not good with alcohol. Joon hyung told me. The amount you had at the party should be enough...."

Taehyung always called Namjoon  "Joon hyung " and when Jeongguk called him by the same name,although unknowingly, it felt weirdly intimate for some reason.

"...also I need the liquid courage. I need to admit something...."

In the span of a few moments, an array of possibilities flew through Taehyung's mind with those words. Maybe Jeongguk didn't want this and he was forced. Maybe he has someone else. Maybe he wants to make it clear that he wants nothing to do with Taehyung.

"I like you."

"Huh?" Taehyung clasped his mouth with a hand the moment he realised he said that out loud.  What do you even mean??