Your Raspberry Lips

the thing and its souls

sometimes, when i lie in bed, all alone, i take my hand and gently reach through my chest, feeling for the cavity you left in my heart. my hands quiver as my fingers fumble with the delicate strings intertwined with my bosom. one by one, i gently tug. some days, the strings remain sturdy, they hold confidence in their posture as they vibrate. others, a string snaps. i'll watch the thread as it untwines at my fingertips and begins to disintegrate into nothing. on those nights, i cry. my howls echo across the vast ocean as i hurdle my heart across the room. i watch it then, as it beats calmly on my floor. it mocks me there. i clench my eyes shut as a dark entity consumes my thoughts. why did you leave me? i harshly press my fingernails into my palm. did you even love me? i tug at my hair until one by one, the strands are ripped from my skull. did you even care? my screams rip into the silence of the night. did you ever care? my legs give out and i fall to the ground with a gentle thud. no. i ask myself again and again, hoping, pleading desperately for a new answer. it's never changed before, it never will.

the absence of your soul from mine drags me inch by inch toward the acidic soil below my feet. it engulfs me, greedy for another. you awoke the thing in the ground with the bullet that carelessly glided through your skull. what once lay dormant at the cracks in the earth's crust now rabidly tears through the centuries of mud above it. you gave it a fragile bone and now it wants meat. in the dead of night, as i lay on the floor, i can make out the desperation of the thing as it continues to rip through the barrier that's held it captive for so long, driven by the strength of a new victim. it talks to me, keeps me company. i hear its whispers in the depth of my mind beckoning me toward the ground, toward the graves, toward the dead. i'm desperately clinging to the memories of you, begging that this will be enough to show the thing there is still life and deter it from the realities of humanity once more. i know i cannot keep it at bay forever. it's voracious. my hope has shriveled, growing scarcer by the day. as my last venture to once more put this thing to rest, i offer it my soul, buoyant that this will be enough.

i knew i was wrong as i grazed the knife across my neck. the thing is never satisfied. its eternal hunger will drive it toward the downfall of humanity for eternity. the last thing i can think as its crooked fangs sear through my soul is a cruel and selfish thought. it breaks down every last atom in my body. at least it's no longer mine.