Your Raspberry Lips

broken glow stick

do not ask for help. you cannot ask for help. help is gone. help doesn't exist. there is only you. just you and your thoughts.

your feet are getting heavier. your smile is stiff. you're lost. you're too far gone. you're entrapped in the frost. the water's getting colder; it sucks the life from your every breath. your bones ache. you stop thrashing, stop fighting. the tide drags you further, further, further. it never stops, the pain never stops. the distance between you and the shore stretches further by the second. a ripple begins. it approaches you stealthily. its speed is that of a forest fire. it transforms into a raging wave in a matter of seconds. you never saw it coming. there were signs. oh yes, there were signs, but you chose to remain oblivious. you didn't heed the bellowing shadows. you brushed aside the schooling fish. you neglected to feel the falling water level. the wave crashes over you in a fit of madness. you don't breathe. you don't breathe because you weren't prepared. you don't breathe because you were living in denial. you don't breathe because you refused to try. your body plummets into the depths of the sea. you become a rag doll. the current tosses you around as if you're nothing but a grain of sand. the light is snuffed by the endless miles of water above. you lose sight of everything. which way is up? which way is down? it's all the same. it all leads nowhere. you ask yourself what the point in swimming is if you know there's not enough oxygen to make it to the surface anyway. the answer remains silent. it doesn't need to be vocalized; you already know it. your skin shrieks in agony as the chilling water forcibly soaks into your flesh. you go numb. your body tingles, pins and needles stabbing you from every direction. your blood turns to slush. the cold. it's too much. it's overwhelming. it conquers you whole. you sink. you sink, and sink, and sink. you just keep sinking. in a moment's rush, the current tugs at your body. you don't know where you're going, just that it's somewhere new. that's when you see it. the light. you see the light. emotions flood your heart. disbelief? bliss? hope? it all feels the same. a surge of warmth rushes through your veins. you want to move. you're so close to air. then you remember. you remember the distance. you remember the waves. you remember the wind, the clouds, the fog. something snaps. like a broken glow stick, your emotions seep from your chest. they trail through the water, dissolving into the ever growing nothingness around you. as quickly as the light came, it leaves. your lungs can't take it anymore. you can't take it anymore. it's gone. it's all gone. everything you've ever loved, shattered by the unfathomable pressure of the sea. there's nowhere left to go. you too, shatter. the shards of your existence sink to the bottom of the ocean. you break down into nothing. you are nothing. you are gone.