When I feel asleep last night I had a dream where I was still penpals with a girl from malayasia, this dream was based on fact as I met her father, who worked as a waiter on a cruise ship and was showing me picture of his daughter fatin who wanted a pen pal and some one to practice English with. In real life me and fatin ended up being penpals for years until she was old enough to join her nations army and unfortunately and problem be on the war on terrorism. She said in her last letter that she would write back..... I never that return letter. I think she may have died as a result of an attack and went to paradise.
When I was 20 and started in on Facebook and this was all in my dream too.......I kept looking her up to see if she was still on this effing ball called earth. But she never showed up in the search on Facebook and other social media site. Right now I am looking for her on penpals world still no effing luck.
I have lost not just my mental health to terrorism but many friend Radha , Fatin and many others even an beloved baby sitter name Bonnie. All of which i not just in the dream but in real life try to find them on the fb and other sites and apps. Each one the people them give momentos and haunting my mind by remembering as If I just met them. Clears as day.
Even though I was told to let these people go I cannot help but think of them. Some like fatin has haunted me in my dreams other in the dark recesses of my mind and heart. I wish I could get in touch with them but like in the dream I cannot for they all in a special much like that of lovely bones but only for terrorism victims.
I don't don't if they are at peace, I imagine they are not at peace.
After the last very last letter from fatin the malayasian girl and being diagnosed with PTSD as will from my spat the the the idiot brigade I made it my life's personal and god given purpose to trample on the efforts of this evil cult like groups that mind many minds and family, and even the skys.
I can not let go because I will not be able to until I help some with ptsd and at least save a live or maybe a 3000 other live from these trashy events that go on in the world. All I can to is accept and hopefully change the world for the better and stop these memories of people other haunting others. It hurts to lose some one. It fucking sucks to lose someone to this senseless bullshit.
Radha
Bonnie and fatin
Have haunt in my dream last night.
As I said all can do is breath and try to move on with my life.....ass painful it is.
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
Dreams, nightmares and past live flashbacks
Cerita Pendek+++++++++++ now on Amazon kindle ++++++++ Basically it's my dream journal . About dreams, night, past life flashbacks, visions and out of body travel. Rated mature because there are some scary parts in my nightmares.
