It has come to my attention that I was, am suffering from a bout of apathy. Scratch that its not just a bout since bout means temporary and my apathetic tendencies is not short-term.
I dont know when it started, perhaps it has always been there and I just failed to notice, like an illness ive had since born and was only made aware recently.
And as dramatic as this will sound but I simply do not care. Its bizarre because I can certainly act as if I care about the people around me the same way society expects me to behave. I can mimic it but I will never be able to understand and because of that everyday is like torture to me, it consists of painstakingly squashing, squeezing the right words out and the expressions that should come naturally, but instead I have to tweak some muscles here and there for an appropriate expression
Its very hard feeling empty because its much worse than feeling pain, take it from someone who contemplates the terror of nothingness every second of my life. I mean how can anything be worse than the eternal silence that is inside me, I'm not worried about dying I'm not worried about failing, im not worried about anything, im just living, just existing.
Maybe im overdramatizing things or maybe there's something wrong with me. That's why I'm doing my best to find out whats wrong with me and I'm trying to find the remedy. I use this as a fuel to drive me forward, a goal I have to achieve because its bothering me, an itch I want to scratch to satisfy myself.
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Written Works, Essays, Poems, Thoughts and Etc.
Non-FictionSchool works, essays, poems and etc. that I wrote, hope this helps other students too as a guide of sorts. I'm currently in grade 11 and I'm on the STEM strand. If you have some inquiries about school subjects feel free to ask me. I know its very ha...
