dear, ricky [rini au.]

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲

chapter twenty: dear ricky.

"Dear Ricky,

I guess I'll start by apologizing for ripping up the birthday letter. I had a weird sense of anger come over me, and just reacted, I'm sorry...

I've been blaming myself for what happened on Saturday. Until I realized this wasn't about me. It's your problem. Not mine. And I need to stop making it mine.

I've never met someone like you...
And you taught me something really valuable that I'm starting to use a lot more now. I just need to start letting go. You taught me how to let go of the fact that I'm not like everyone else. You taught me how to let go of what happened to me and why I'm more. You taught me to let go of all the negative things that brought me down. It and it helped. It really helped.

And now, I'm letting go of you. Because it seems as though maybe you have too much for me to handle... It may seem selfish, but I'm just doing what you always asked of me.

And I hate to admit it, but, I miss you, and you're all I can think about. I know it's pathetic, but that's how I truly feel. And I've never had a problem opening up to you about how I feel... But now, I'm letting you go."

Ricky sighs as he reads over that note again and again. The ending is what really gets him.

"Thanks for everything, Ricky.

-Love, Neens."

Love.

Love, Neens.

Ricky just moped. He missed her too. More than he could even explain. Ever since she wandered into his life, he never wanted it to be with out her. He wanted to be in her life. He didn't want to lose her too. He just couldn't.

Ricky stood there, slouched against the locker beside his opened one as he mentally beat himself up for letting her slip away so easily when she was right there.

How could he recover from a loss this severe?

It was the end of the school day and Ricky had probably read over that God damn letter a thousand times. Her words repeating themselves, her penmanship not daring to leave his mind as his finger traced over the letters.

He knew before that he fucked up, but now... He really knew. And he had to make it right.

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